My sister died on Tuesday. I’m both relieved the cancer can no longer hurt her and heartbroken her life was cut short by that insidious disease.

The good news is that Zippy and I were with her in July, and had a very nice visit. We  talked about books (I was reading There There by Tommy Orange which they’d both already read and she was reading Kafka’s The Metamorphosis which I haven’t yet read but now will) and we all expressed admiration for Percival Everett’s James. We watched the Tour de France which was great fun despite the oftentimes baffling  “rules” of the event with its various stages and jerseys, sharing a particular fondness for young rider Ben Healy of Ireland (although we cheered on pretty much every cyclist not riding for Israel). We savored the applesauce she taught me to make when I discovered the bag of overripe apples while cleaning out her refrigerator. My sister also taught me to recognize the song of the Red-eyed Vireo and we put out sugar water for the hummingbirds and peanuts for the jays, and enjoyed all the birds including the male Northern Cardinal who kept throwing himself against the windows as he attacked his own reflection. Edited to add: We also watched a quite large black bear amble through the yard. Kate was doing a personalized Spanish class and the two of us put our heads together to dissect various sentences, searching for the direct and indirect objects which, while not my favorite activity, was still fun because it was in collaboration. My sister loved learning.

Zippy flew back home as scheduled and I stayed another week to help out as her health worsened. Those were hard days but I’ll be forever grateful I could be there for her. When it became clear she needed medical help, I drove her back to the city. It was there, in the hospital, we learned there was nothing more that could be done to stop the cancer.

My sister died in her home, sons and a brother by her side.

The many emotions I’m experiencing are a natural part of the cycle of life and death, I know this. I also know (as did my sister) that she lived a privileged life and accessed topnotch medical care up until her death. Something I don’t know? How the Palestinians who are daily losing their children/spouses/parents/siblings–sometimes all at once–can possibly bear the many emotions of loss and grief they’re experiencing. From where I sit, mourning the loss of a sister, the scale of what the Palestinians are experiencing is unfathomable. Everyone should be allowed to process their grief.

I’m sharing the obituary I wrote (with a few additions by nephew Alex) so that you may know a bit more about my beautiful sister, Kate.

Katherine Marie Abell, formerly of Pardeeville, died at home on September 23, 2025. She was 70.

Kate was born in Milwaukee and moved with her parents (Joanne and Earl) and four younger siblings (Christine, Peter, Tracy, Steve) to Pardeeville when she was in 8^th grade. After graduation Kate went to Swarthmore College where she met Bob Martin, sharing 46 years of marriage until his death in 2022. Kate and Bob made a life together in New York City and, united in their fight for tenant rights, squatted in a building to prevent the landlord from evicting the tenants. That apartment eventually became their lifelong home where they later raised sons Alex and James.

Kate was a woman of many interests and talents. She belonged to a book group, a writing group, and founded The Math Collective, a group dedicated to collaborative work around math education. She traveled around the world, played tennis wherever she could find a court, jumped in rivers on cross-country drives, patronized museums, ate a grub in Yosemite, downhill skied, climbed dozens of 14ers in Colorado, and generally reveled in nature. Kate was a labor organizer, poet, and mathematician. After attending Bank Street College, Kate was first a classroom teacher in NYC then a math coach for over 20 years, riding her bike to schools around the city.

Kate treasured time with family and friends, and she and Bob hosted many Thanksgiving gatherings over the years. She valued togetherness and learning, equally happy to organize games of Fictionary, examine insects with her grandchildren, Lilou and River, or discuss literature and social justice with daughters-in-law Megan and Aimee. Kate’s friend group was vast, many of those friendships spanning decades.

Kate cared about community and acted accordingly up to the end of her life, working with neighbors to improve their collective condition. She is already missed.

In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the following movements Kate supported:
Palestinian Refugees: UNRWAUSA.org
Families in Gaza (vetted Go Fund Me’s): gazafunds.com
The Algebra Project INC (focused on equitable math education and programming): algebra.org

A memorial will be held in New York City at a later date.

Rest in power, sister Kate.