For 10 months, I felt a close connection to a person in Gaza. I didn’t know their name and they didn’t know mine. That didn’t matter. What did matter was a Palestinian needed help and I was able to provide assistance. Our shared humanity brought us together.

Because Israel targeted (and continues to target) internet infrastructure in Gaza, it’s incredibly difficult for Palestinians to communicate with family, friends, and the world beyond the open air prison in which they live. Imagine not only being under constant bombardment while enduring forced starvation, but also desperately wanting the ability to say one last goodbye. This is why Egyptian writer and journalist Mirna El Helbawi stepped in to provide free esims to the people of Gaza. As explained in that article, “Despite the name, eSIM cards aren’t physical cards at all but pieces of software that act like traditional SIM cards, allowing people to activate a new cellular plan with phone and internet access on their existing phone.”

When I learned about El Helbawi’s efforts via Connecting-Humanity.org, I purchased esims to donate. Several esims were never activated and then one was, and my heart soared! Starting on August 10, 2024, I kept an open tab on my laptop for the Nomad esim site where I could monitor the 10 GB data usage. Each time I opened the tab, I made a silent wish that the data amount had gone down. Day after day, I cheered on the Palestinian recipient, sending thoughts of strength and solidarity. Each decrease in data was proof of Palestinian resiliency. Whenever the data usage reached 7-8 GBs, I topped off the esim, adding another 10 GB that would be ready when the other ran out.

Month after month, I was connected to that Palestinian in Gaza. A student doing online studies? A journalist? Healthcare worker or street medic? Mother of four? Older brother caring for younger siblings? I had no way of knowing who might be accessing the internet but my heart was filled with gratitude for El Helbawi and the other volunteers who provided vital assistance to my Palestinian “friend” and thousands of others while also providing people such as myself a way to make a tangible difference in Gaza.

Today, after 10 months of usage, that Nomad esim expired with 6.37 GB of data remaining. For the past three weeks or so, the usage had remained the same despite me  checking and rechecking the Nomad site. My Palestinian friend used only 3.63 of the 10 GB before the esim quietly expired.

Obviously, I have no way of knowing what happened. Maybe their phone was dropped and damaged. Maybe their phone got lost. Or maybe the genocidal Israeli forces dropped a bomb on their tent or denied them access to life-saving medicine or lured them to a humanitarian aid station in order to gun them down. Or maybe my Palestinian friend got thrown in prison along with the thousands of Palestinians that Israel holds on administrative detention.

I will never know what happened to that courageous and resilient Palestinian who used their phone to survive those many months of horror. My pain of not-knowing is the tiniest fraction of the pain Palestinians endure as their families, friends, and communities are destroyed, and tens of thousands remain buried beneath rubble. I can barely imagine the depth of their pain and trauma.

What is being done to Palestinians is horrific. Full stop. But the damage doesn’t end with the death and destruction that’s been live-streamed since October of 2023. This genocide damages all of us as we avert our gazes and harden our hearts in futile efforts to protect ourselves from the violence and trauma. Israel and the United States and every other genocide-enabling government — whether actively aiding and abetting the death and destruction or merely remaining quiet — are counting on us becoming numb. They are purposely normalizing genocide, ethnic cleansing, displacement, colonialism, and state-sanctioned brutality so that we quit feeling compassion for others. Make no mistake, there’s a direct connection between what’s happening in Gaza and what’s happening in Los Angeles. Israel’s IDF trains ICE and police to use IDF’s brutal tactics.

In honor of my Palestinian friend I never met, I invite you to make a donation to Crips for esims for Gaza  which is “a collaboration between Jane Shi, Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha, and Alice Wong. Disabled people around the world are raising funds to get as many eSims as we can into Gaza.” This group has raised $2.4 million to buy esims for Gaza. They’re doing good and compassionate work.

Finally, also in honor of my Palestinian friend, I post this image from my yard. While it’s been battered and bruised by the elements, this red poppy still shines bright. It will rise up again next spring. There’s a reason the poppy is the national flower of Palestine.

From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free.