Rest in power, beautiful sister

/ Tracy Abell

My sister died on Tuesday. I’m both relieved the cancer can no longer hurt her and heartbroken her life was cut short by that insidious disease.

The good news is that Zippy and I were with her in July, and had a very nice visit. We  talked about books (I was reading There There by Tommy Orange which they’d both already read and she was reading Kafka’s The Metamorphosis which I haven’t yet read but now will) and we all expressed admiration for Percival Everett’s James. We watched the Tour de France which was great fun despite the oftentimes baffling  “rules” of the event with its various stages and jerseys, sharing a particular fondness for young rider Ben Healy of Ireland (although we cheered on pretty much every cyclist not riding for Israel). We savored the applesauce she taught me to make when I discovered the bag of overripe apples while cleaning out her refrigerator. My sister also taught me to recognize the song of the Red-eyed Vireo and we put out sugar water for the hummingbirds and peanuts for the jays, and enjoyed all the birds including the male Northern Cardinal who kept throwing himself against the windows as he attacked his own reflection. Edited to add: We also watched a quite large black bear amble through the yard. Kate was doing a personalized Spanish class and the two of us put our heads together to dissect various sentences, searching for the direct and indirect objects which, while not my favorite activity, was still fun because it was in collaboration. My sister loved learning.

Zippy flew back home as scheduled and I stayed another week to help out as her health worsened. Those were hard days but I’ll be forever grateful I could be there for her. When it became clear she needed medical help, I drove her back to the city. It was there, in the hospital, we learned there was nothing more that could be done to stop the cancer.

My sister died in her home, sons and a brother by her side.

The many emotions I’m experiencing are a natural part of the cycle of life and death, I know this. I also know (as did my sister) that she lived a privileged life and accessed topnotch medical care up until her death. Something I don’t know? How the Palestinians who are daily losing their children/spouses/parents/siblings–sometimes all at once–can possibly bear the many emotions of loss and grief they’re experiencing. From where I sit, mourning the loss of a sister, the scale of what the Palestinians are experiencing is unfathomable. Everyone should be allowed to process their grief.

I’m sharing the obituary I wrote (with a few additions by nephew Alex) so that you may know a bit more about my beautiful sister, Kate.

Katherine Marie Abell, formerly of Pardeeville, died at home on September 23, 2025. She was 70.

Kate was born in Milwaukee and moved with her parents (Joanne and Earl) and four younger siblings (Christine, Peter, Tracy, Steve) to Pardeeville when she was in 8th grade. After graduation Kate went to Swarthmore College where she met Bob Martin, sharing 46 years of marriage until his death in 2022. Kate and Bob made a life together in New York City and, united in their fight for tenant rights, squatted in a building to prevent the landlord from evicting the tenants. That apartment eventually became their lifelong home where they later raised sons Alex and James.

Kate was a woman of many interests and talents. She belonged to a book group, a writing group, and founded The Math Collective, a group dedicated to collaborative work around math education. She traveled around the world, played tennis wherever she could find a court, jumped in rivers on cross-country drives, patronized museums, ate a grub in Yosemite, downhill skied, climbed dozens of 14ers in Colorado, and generally reveled in nature. Kate was a labor organizer, poet, and mathematician. After attending Bank Street College, Kate was first a classroom teacher in NYC then a math coach for over 20 years, riding her bike to schools around the city.

Kate treasured time with family and friends, and she and Bob hosted many Thanksgiving gatherings over the years. She valued togetherness and learning, equally happy to organize games of Fictionary, examine insects with her grandchildren, Lilou and River, or discuss literature and social justice with daughters-in-law Megan and Aimee. Kate’s friend group was vast, many of those friendships spanning decades.

Kate cared about community and acted accordingly up to the end of her life, working with neighbors to improve their collective condition. She is already missed.

In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the following movements Kate supported:
Palestinian Refugees: UNRWAUSA.org
Families in Gaza (vetted Go Fund Me’s): gazafunds.com
The Algebra Project INC (focused on equitable math education and programming): algebra.org

A memorial will be held in New York City at a later date.

Rest in power, sister Kate.

32 thoughts on “Rest in power, beautiful sister”

  1. I’m deeply sorry about the loss of your sister Kate. She sounded like a curious, interesting woman. It’s so hard losing the people we love. Please be extra gentle with yourself.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Tracy, I’m so sorry for your loss but at the same time, I know the sense of relief we feel when the battle with a long term illness finally ends for a loved one. She sounded like an intelligent,active but connected to the community type of person, all her life. I feel she was a social warrior for the good of all people, especially those whose voices are seldom heard. Your obituary was really beautiful and painted a clear picture of the kind of human being she was (the real good kind💕) Allahyirhamha. May she rest in peace.

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  4. Tracey, my condolences with the passing of your sister Kate. The ambiguity of relief and loss creates an emotional seesaw. May your memories of Kate and the care you gave her stay with you.
    At the same time, I can’t imagine the loss of a brother or sister.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I’m so sorry for your loss, Tracy. Your sister sounds like such an amazing and kind person. A true gift to the world. I’m glad you were able to spend time with her in her final moments. Sending you a virtual hug.

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  9. So sorry to hear of your loss Tracy, such a beautiful soul and sister that matches you to a tee. Hugs for your grief and release. Thinking of you, xoxo, Ginger Pam

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I had a good cry last night for your sister and for your loss. I am so glad that you were able to spend precious time together. Your words were beautiful. Your sister left a wonderful imprint on the world. She was the tue meaning of being a good human being. Peace and love ❤️ Chris B

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  13. Tracy, I’m deeply sorry for the loss of your remarkable sister Kate. Reading about her life left me both humbled and inspired—what a force of nature she was. From Milwaukee to Pardeeville, from Swarthmore to the streets of New York, Kate seemed to live with fierce purpose and joyful curiosity. Her devotion to justice, education, and community—and her love for family—shine through every detail you’ve shared.

    I imagine the ache of her absence is profound, but so too is the legacy she leaves behind: in her sons, her grandchildren, her students, her friends, and in you. May her memory continue to guide and uplift, like the rivers she jumped into and the mountains she climbed. Rest in power, indeed … Keith

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    • Thank you so much, Keith, for taking the time to read about and comment on my sister’s life. It means an awful lot to me and your comment warmed my heart. Last week we gathered in NYC to pay tribute to her and it was incredible hearing the many, many people whose lives she impacted. While she died much too soon, she lived a full life without regrets. It was amazing to hear the stories and share laughter and tears with “her people.” Thank you again, Keith.

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  14. The poppy article you shared was shared by a friend and I went through the blog. .and the first thing I wish to write is my deep condolences for your loss , I really mean it because I still live in these condolences everyday and I expect more of it as the war on Gaza continue even while it’s covered by the fake ceasefire, I survived 7 months of the war in Gaza , sometimes I wish I didn’t leave , it’s the unjust unfair world that makes you live in guilt all your days and nights. .

    Thank you for your support

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    • Hello! It means so much to me that you, amidst all your grief and emotions, offered condolences for the loss of my sister. Thank you for your incredible kindness. With every fiber of my being, I am so very sorry for what’s being done to you and your people. It’s especially horrific that along with the trauma and all the feelings/sensations that come with it, you’re also feeling guilt for leaving. I hope you can find grace for yourself in all this.

      I’m not even sure you’ll come back to see this response, but I also wanted to offer a Middle East esim that I purchased for someone in Gaza. Because of the horrific situation there, it seems it’s very hard to afford and use a phone so I’ve been unable to find a home for this one. If someone can use it, I will monitor usage and top off the data as needed. Please let me know if I can help. In the meanwhile, I’m sending love and strength to you and all Palestinians.

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    • I am very sorry to hear you also lost a sibling, Pamela. It’s so painful. I’m sorry for your loss and send best wishes to you and your family as you grieve. Thank you very much for stopping by to share.

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