A Pastafarian walks into the DMV…

I have a birthday coming up which means my driver’s license is about to expire. I tried to renew it online this morning, but was told I didn’t qualify. This means two things:
(1) I have to go wait in line at the Department of Motor Vehicles and (2) I have to get a new photo taken.

I’m not a photogenic person, however, my current driver’s license photo is pretty good. By that, I mean I don’t wince every time I take it out of my wallet. From my perspective, that’s the definition of “keeper.” That past success should make me optimistic of getting another non-wince-inducing photo, right? Wrong.

  • Colorado no longer issues colored driver’s licenses; they are now grayscale.
  • Colorado no longer allows people who wear glasses every single moment of their waking lives to wear those glasses in their photos.
  • Colorado no longer allows people to smile in their photos.

No color. No glasses. No smiles.

Gee, I can’t wait to see what my new driver’s license photo looks like. Except, I already know what it’ll look like: as drab and unlike the real me as my passport photo which is also No Color, No Glasses, No Smile.

I am so angry right now. Not because I’m vain (I am), but because we’ve become a fear-based society that’s given up our civil liberties in the name of increased security. I don’t know about you, but facial recognition software doesn’t make me feel any more secure. The surveillance state doesn’t make me feel more secure.

I’m debating whether to show up at the DMV wearing my colander:

                                   Tracy in March 2012                                  All hail the Flying Spaghetti Monster!

Other Pastafarians have taken a stand with their driver’s license photos, and maybe I should do the same. The shiny metal would certainly brighten up what will otherwise be a dreary photo.

Score One for the Flying Spaghetti Monster!


As some of you know, I am a Pastafarian and 
member of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

I was touched by His Noodly Appendage.

So in light of the current crop of ridiculous blather about "religious freedom"
in the United States which is code for "freedom for Christians" 
(religious freedom sure as hell doesn't apply to Muslims),  
this admittedly old news from Austria made me very happy.

Short version: a man named Niko Alm learned that the only headgear 
allowed in Austrian drivers' licenses was confessional headgear.
Mr. Alm said that because he is a Pastafarian,
he should be allowed to wear a pasta strainer on his head.
Authorities required a doctor's note saying Alm was mentally fit to drive
and then issued him the driver's license. 

Doesn't he look great in that colander?