Refaat Alareer: rest in power and peace

Today I learned that Dr. Refaat Alareer, along with his brother, sister, and her four children, were targeted and murdered in an Israeli airstrike. Refaat was a translator, academic, and writer who also reported on life in Gaza. These last two months I got to “know” him on Twitter/X as he shared specific details of the violence and horrors inflicted upon Gazans. Despite the death and destruction, he was funny and hopeful. He struck me as a human being comfortable in his own skin.

At the end of October, I posted a glimpse into LIGHT IN GAZA, an anthology of Palestinian writers and artists sharing their lived experiences under military occupation. But it wasn’t until today that I made the connection that the Refaat from social media was the same man with an essay in LIGHT IN GAZA. Refaat wrote “Gaza Asks: When Shall This Pass?” (Note: You may download the anthology for free from Haymarket Books). I highly recommend reading the entire piece yourself in order to better understand the gift that Refaat was to this world.

In “Gaza Asks,” he shared memories of the random violence he experienced over the years, along with that of friends and family members, and how in each instance they comforted themselves with “It shall pass.” When Refaat was older, teaching world literature and creative writing at the Islamic University in Gaza (IUG), he told stories to his three children to distract them from the twenty-three-day onslaught by Israel’s military (Operation Cast Lead). He told stories as bombs and missiles exploded in the background. Refaat wrote “As a Palestinian, I have been brought up on stories and storytelling. It’s both selfish and treacherous to keep a story to yourself–stories are meant to be told and retold. If I kept a story to myself, I would be betraying my legacy, my mother, my grandmother, and my homeland.”  He went on to say “Telling stories was my way of resisting. It was all I could do. And it was then I decided that if I lived, I would dedicate much of my life to telling the stories of Palestine, empowering Palestinian narratives, and nurturing younger voices.” 

When that particular onslaught ended, Refaat returned to the classroom where he told his students “Writing is a testimony, a memory that outlives any human experience, and an obligation to communicate with ourselves and the world. We lived for a reason, to tell the tales of loss, of survival, and of hope.” He began assigning and training his students to write short stories based on their realities. Those stories were collected and edited by Refaat and published as GAZA WRITES BACK.

But that wasn’t all Refaat did in the classroom. As so succinctly expressed by his friend Dan Cohen, Refaat “used English-language literature and poetry to teach his students the difference between Judaism and Zionism, equipping them with the mental tools to resist Zionist propaganda that seeks to conflate the two.” You can read more about those classroom experiences in “Gaza Asks.”

Later in the essay, in regards to Israel later destroying the administration building at IUG, Refaat wrote “. . . to me, IUG’s only danger to the Israeli occupation and its apartheid regime is that it is the most important place in Gaza to develop students’ minds as indestructible weapons. Knowledge is Israel’s worst enemy. Awareness is Israel’s most hated and feared foe. That’s why Israel bombs a university: it wants to kill openness and determination to refuse living under injustice and racism.”

I’ll stop there because I can’t do justice to the eloquence of Refaat’s essay, and I hope you’ll forgive me for already revealing so much. It’s just that this entire essay touched my heart and I felt compelled to share.

I do want to highlight this poem that follows his essay in LIGHT IN GAZA. Refaat also posted the poem on his Instagram account one week ago:

I’ll end with this poem he’d pinned at the top of his Twitter/X account on November 1: “If I must die, let it be a tale.”

Rest in power and peace, Dr. Refaat Alareer.

Let’s talk about “from the river to the sea”

Yesterday,  I read and commented on a blog I’ve followed and interacted with for years. The poster is Jewish and wrote about, among other things, their fear at the way people on social media and college campuses are voicing solidarity with Palestinian people. There was much in the blog post that made me shake my head, but my comment focused on what is meant when we say “from the river to the sea.” Here’s what I wrote:

If I may, [name redacted], “from the river to the sea” does not call for the eradication of Jewish people. Rather, it is a call for Palestinian people who are now living under apartheid to live with the equality, freedom, and dignity accorded others. It is a call for Palestinians to have free movement from the Jordan River to the Mediterranean Sea. I don’t believe anyone should feel threated by the liberation of an oppressed people. 

A protester holds a placard reading ‘From the river to the sea, we demand equality’, during a protest in solidarity with Palestinians, in Berlin, Germany, Nov. 4 2023.      Clemens Bilan

They pushed back on my comment which started all sorts of thoughts swirling in my head, but because I didn’t want to step further into their space to examine this issue, I’m putting those thoughts here.

I kept waking last night, my thoughts immediately on the reactions to those six words–from the river to the sea–and how it’s deeply racist and Islamophobic to believe that freeing Palestinians from apartheid would result in the slaughter of Jewish people. Also, I couldn’t stop thinking about how those six words are being used to silence opposition to this genocide happening before our very eyes. When I woke, I found an eloquent piece on this very issue written in 2018  by an associate professor in the School of Middle Eastern and North African Studies  at the University of Arizona.  Dismissing or ignoring what this phrase means to the Palestinians is yet another means by which to silence Palestinian perspectives. Citing only Hamas leaders’ use of the phrase, while disregarding the liberationist context in which other Palestinians understand it, shows a disturbing level of ignorance about Palestinians’ views at best, and a deliberate attempt to smear their legitimate aspirations at worst. You may read the entire piece HERE.

As I struggled to fall back asleep, I also couldn’t stop thinking about the 13 year-old boy in southern California who last week was suspended for three days for saying “Free Palestine” after another kid called him a terrorist. As you can see HERE, the principal’s reason for suspension: “Said threatening remarks to a young lady in class. He said, ‘Free Palestine.'” Suspending a child for voicing support for the liberation of an oppressed population?! This suppression of free speech isn’t only happening in the U.S. An Israeli high school teacher was assaulted and arrested by the IDF after making a Facebook post sympathetic to dead Palestinian civilians.

Meanwhile, Israeli officials who brazenly announce their intent to commit genocide in Gaza are given platforms to spew their genocidal rhetoric AND continue to receive the unwavering support of the U.S. government despite the majority of voters supporting a ceasefire.

I don’t know about you, but I find the specific violence of those words much more alarming than calls for “from the river to the sea.”

How are they allowed to come right out and state their murderous intent? For one, there’s a full-blown propaganda and normalization effort happening. “Embedded journalists” from the U.S. must allow the Israeli Defense Forces (IDF) to okay their materials. CNN interviewed Netanyahu today as if he’s just some regular guy rather than a far-right, genocidal maniac. If you’re watching mainstream media, you’re getting a very slanted take on what’s happening. For instance, they don’t want you knowing that millions upon millions of people around the globe have been and continue to march in solidarity with Palestine (see ceasfiretoday.com for the huge list of protests around the world). Also? Israel is targeting journalists.

Per the Committee to Protect Journalists, as of November 12:

  • 40 journalists and media workers were confirmed dead: 35 Palestinian, 4 Israeli, and 1 Lebanese.
  • 8 journalists were reported injured.
  • 3 journalists were reported missing.
  • 13 journalists were reported arrested.
  • Multiple assaults, threats, cyberattacks, censorship, and killings of family members.

But the real threat here is people chanting “from the river to the sea”????

There’s so much more to say about all this, so many horrifying aspects: Fascism. Settler colonialism. Another Nakba. Bombing refugee camps. Bombing hospitals. Shooting people in ICU. Bombing solar panels off a hospital roof. Dead infants as a result of no electricity. White phosphorous melting skin to bone. Targeting UN workers. Deliberately withholding food, water, electricity, and fuel. Bodies decaying in the rubble. 900+ entire Palestinian families killed. Doctors Without Borders’ new acronym: WCNSF which stands for Wounded Child No Surviving Family.

From the BBC: “Most of the children in my family photo are dead”

To be honest, this whole endeavor has been overwhelming and I’m going to stop here. If you’ve read this far, thank you thank you thank you. And please remember: the college students and the rest of us protesting our government for funding and enabling this genocide are NOT the problem.

Until we are all free, none of us are free. 

I get to hug my son

Zebu in summer of 1998

Today is Zebu’s birthday and I’m feeling especially grateful. He (and our other son) spent their entire childhoods with Zippy and me and while those years certainly held challenges, we remained intact as a family. The four of us were never forced to seek asylum, we were never denied refuge, and our children weren’t ripped from their parents’ arms. That kind of unspeakable trauma was never part of our lives. Not because we’re exceptional or more deserving, but because we were fortunate enough to be born in the United States. That’s it. Sheer luck.

Today is Zebu’s birthday and I get to hug my son. I’m weeping for those who can’t.

Worth one thousand words

Couldn’t find artist or location of this graffiti.

This image pretty much sums it up:

(1) right now I can’t bear to hear/see/speak about the latest atrocities committed against the planet’s most vulnerable by the world’s most powerful and (2) imperialism and insatiable greed are the two constants behind all U.S. military actions.

We’ve seen this movie.

Souvenir of the day

My writing often contains souvenirs of the day
– a song I heard, a bird I saw –
which I then put into the novel.
~ Amy Tan

Thinking back on my writing day, I didn’t include a snippet of song or any bird images. Instead, I referenced a heartbreaking news item about a ten-year-old girl with serious health issues who has been caught up in this administration’s xenophobia-on-steroids policies. Tomorrow, I’ll try hard for a bird.

I Can’t Breathe

I’m a writer and I’m supposed to be able to express myself.

But for the past two days I’ve struggled to put down words about the stark contrast between my experience as a white female in this society and all the black women who can never, ever take for granted that any of the males in their lives–sons, husbands, fathers, brothers, nephews–will walk back through the door at the end of the day.

I’m heartbroken. For all of us.

Guns Kill People

I’m too heartsick to seek out details, but there was another shooting at a Colorado high school today. One of my sons is still in high school (a different one), and I’m at a complete loss. How did we get to the point in which it’s commonplace for kids to go to school with the knowledge that some unhinged individual with a gun might show up that day?

F*ck you, Wayne LaPierre and the NRA and anyone else who says s/he’ll fight to the death to protect the Second Amendment. Your priorities are massively f*cked up.

flowers and birds 023

The Dude and Books and Me

I’ve been offline for the past month, mostly because I’ve been spending time with my cat Lebowski. Five weeks ago we found out he is terminally ill, and my heart shattered when I thought it was only a matter of days before I had to say goodbye. Instead, we’ve been gifted all this extra time so I’m soaking up the love while I still have the chance. Trying hard to ignore the heartbreak in my future.

Lebowski is one of the most loving felines I’ve ever known and he wants to be close to me all the time. He’s either on my lap or curled against my leg (he even sits next to my head while I do my planks, enduring the extra-loud Green Day I blast for motivation). He likes being outside so we sit on the deck beneath an old shower curtain I’ve rigged to give us shade, his tail gently flicking as he watches birds in the yard and squirrels running along the fence. I caress my kitty and listen to his purr, trying hard not to think too far into the future. Trying hard to stay in the moment, memorizing the arch of his neck when he’s angling for the best scratch. Memorizing the silky feel of his tail sliding through my fingers and the sight of the long-long whiskers that grew on a once-wide cat.

Because Lebowski likes me stationary, I’ve been doing LOTS of reading. The writing hasn’t been happening, in part because when I work at my standing desk, the kitty comes in and meows up at me until I get down on the floor and rub his tummy. Instead, I’ve read stacks of books (lots of them good and others not-so-good) these past weeks. It feels right to read other writers’ words while I fill my heart with Lebowski.

Mostly I’m trying hard to remember that while this isn’t the long happily-ever-after I’d hoped for when Lebowski came into my life, every day with him is a gift.

The Dude in June of 2009

The Dude in June of 2009

Remembering Levon Helm

I grew up listening to The Band.
My parents had one of those huge cabinet stereos
that they’d hooked up to our intercom system
so music played throughout the house.

I washed dishes to The Band,
tanned outside on the deck,
lemon-oiled paneling and washed windows to their music.
I spent hours in my room, studying the album covers and liner notes
as I listened to the stories-in-songs they sang while trading verses and
marveled at the many instruments they played and the sounds they created.

These were the soundtracks for much of my childhood:

   
   

Rick Danko
Levon Helm
Garth Hudson
Richard Manuel
Robbie Robertson

I knew their names and faces.
And I loved them even more when I found out they’d been
Bob Dylan’s back-up band before becoming The Band.
(Dylan painted the cover art for Music From Big Pink)

I spent my fourteenth birthday at home during a snowstorm
in Wisconsin while they played their very last concert together
in San Francisco. I was heartbroken I couldn’t be there with them
and their many friends: Bob Dylan (see#23), Joni Mitchell, The Staples,
Neil Young, EmmyLou Harris, etc.  But I’ve watched that concert
“rockumentary” (see #24),
 many times since.

In the spring of 1985, Rick Danko, Garth Hudson, and Richard Manuel
played a small club somewhere in the San Fernando Valley.
My friend, Scott E., and I went, lining up at the door well before the show
so we’d get good seats. We were front row. No Levon and no Robbie, but it
was still remarkable basking in the music and memories.

Richard died the following spring.
Rick died in 1999.
And today, we lost Levon Helm.

Levon was the drummer but he also sang some of their most famous songs.
The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down and Up On Cripple Creek. And not-so-
famous Ophelia. When I was pregnant, I made a mix tape of songs for my labor soundtrack. I wanted music so familiar to me I wouldn’t need to expend any energy on
thinking or processing the songs. I wanted to be able to sing every single word
without hesitation. The Weight was one such song.

But right now, as I mourn the passing of yet another member of The Band,
I offer you Levon singing All La Glory.

Thank you for all the beautiful music, Levon.
Wherever you are, I hope you’re still smiling and laying down the beat.

It’s Monday Mourning

              

My heart hurts.

I’m not even sure where to begin with this story
that involves an eccentric old juniper tree and a neighbor.

Short story: neighbor didn’t like eccentric juniper tree
that grew behind my fence in a Dr. Seuss-like fashion,
and over the years advocated for cutting it down because
the not-conventionally-attractive tree interfered with her view.

I defended the tree on the grounds it partially blocked my
view of the enormous new house down the hill but also
stated that I liked the tree because it had character.

Neighbor continued to advocate for removal and last year
I begrudgingly said she could cut off the very top five feet or
so of the droopy, swamp creature-esque tree.  Neighbor 
did nothing until one night this past week when we had another 
conversation about the tree. I repeated that I liked the tree because it had
character and because it blocked the house below, but that she could top it off.

I’m sure you’ve guessed what happened.
On Saturday afternoon, while I was home and completely unaware,
my neighbor came into my yard, went behind the fence and butchered the tree
so that it now just reaches above the fence.  

As soon as I walk onto my patio and face downhill, I see the scarred remains jutting over
the fence. Behind it I see the enormous house down below.  Then I close my eyes
and see the off-center, funky old juniper that used to provide habitat for birds and squirrels.

I’m crying as I write this.

I feel as if I let down that tree, that I should not have made any assumptions
about how it would be treated by my neighbor.
I wish I could rewind the tape and handle the whole situation differently.

Yesterday while I was writing a letter to my neighbor about the hurt and anger I felt,
Zippy discovered a card from her in our front door.

Neighbor’s card said a tree was being planted in a National Forest in my honor
and also that she’d plant another tree behind the fence if I wished.
She apologized and said she’d never do that again.

My anger is mostly gone but I cannot shake the sadness.
I’m not sure how to move forward.
It feels disrespectful to leave the tree as is but I don’t know if I can cut it down.
Yesterday morning when I stood next to it, crying, a bird flew from the lower branches.

This whole situation has affected my health and I can’t see how it’s ever going to get easier.
Whenever I face that direction I’ll either see where the tree used to be or its mangled remains.
Neither feels like a good choice.