A bum on a cot next to Trout’s at the shelter wished him a Merry Christmas.
Trout replied, “Ting-a-ling! Ting-a-ling!”
~ From TIMEQUAKE by Kurt Vonnegut.
Kurt Vonnegut gets my vote for all-time best humanist, and Ting-a-ling! gets my vote for best response to these frightening and infuriating times.
Ting-a-ling!, everyone.
.
As some of you know, I am a Pastafarian and
member of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
I was touched by His Noodly Appendage.
So in light of the current crop of ridiculous blather about "religious freedom"
in the United States which is code for "freedom for Christians"
(religious freedom sure as hell doesn't apply to Muslims),
this admittedly old news from Austria made me very happy.
Short version: a man named Niko Alm learned that the only headgear
allowed in Austrian drivers' licenses was confessional headgear.
Mr. Alm said that because he is a Pastafarian,
he should be allowed to wear a pasta strainer on his head.
Authorities required a doctor's note saying Alm was mentally fit to drive
and then issued him the driver's license.
Doesn't he look great in that colander?
I take a certain amount of glee
in answering questions about
why the back of my car
is adorned with this:
Especially when the person asking
was raised to doubt evolution
and, instead, touts creationism.
I tell the truth, though,
since I am a proud Pastafarian.
And you know what?
Wildebeest’s friend handled my explanation just fine.
“Being a humanist means that you try to behave as decently, as honourably, as you can without any expectation of rewards or punishments in an afterlife. When we had a memorial service for Isaac a few years back, I spoke at it and said at one point, ‘Isaac is up in heaven now’. It was the funniest thing I could think of to say to an audience of humanists. Believe me, it worked – I rolled them in the aisles. If I should ever die, god forbid, I hope people will say, ‘Kurt is up in heaven now’. That’s my favourite joke.”
— Kurt Vonnegut
Thank you, Mr. Vonnegut, for all you gave.
Tracy Abell 