extreme weather

Geese for Gaza

/ Tracy Abell / 8 Comments

We’re heading into a very rainy week here on the Olympic Peninsula due to atmospheric river conditions. Knowing this, yesterday we took advantage of the quiet before the storm to walk along the water via the Olympic Discovery Trail. However, weather wasn’t the only factor in our decision: we also desperately needed a dose of nature to counteract the negative mental health effects of the current regime’s fascism a go-go plus the non-stop slaughter of Palestinians live-streamed before our eyes. The “ceasefire” that was supposed to terminate Israel’s genocidal war on Gaza has allowed Israel to violate those terms over 500 times, resulting in the murder of hundreds of men, women, and children. (NOTE to the Zionist from Tel Aviv: your racist, supremacist rants are blocked from this site which means no one but you will ever know the depths of your depravity. You’re welcome.)

As Zippy, Emma, and I began our walk, we saw a large flock of Canada Geese. I smiled while taking photos and happily captured more images when we returned an hour later to find them in a different spot alongside the trail.

Today when I found myself repeatedly thinking about these geese, it felt like a sign. As in, time for another Geese and Gaza post. Why?

Canada Geese on December 6, 2025

Because seeing other living, breathing creatures–such as this flock of geese that works together to keep each member safe–always reminds me of the interconnectedness of life on this planet. We are all in this together, and that most definitely includes Palestinians. I’m pretty sure every “silly goose” understands this basic concept.

They are Geese for Gaza.
From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free.

Climate Movement Monday: mutual aid

/ Tracy Abell / 12 Comments

Welcome back to Movement Mondays in which we discuss all things climate. And guess what? Climate is connected to every other issue we’re facing for the simple reason that everyone and everything on this planet is connected. No one and nothing exists in isolation.

As I write this, much of the western U.S. is under a heatdome while Hurricane Beryl continues to wreak havoc, this time in Texas. A couple days ago, the medical journal The Lancet published a report saying that a conservative death toll in Gaza is 186,000 dead–which equals 8% of the Palestinian population in the Gaza Strip–when indirect deaths (starvation, illness, disease, etc.) are taken into account. Ten days ago, the Supreme Court ruled that the constitution doesn’t protect unhoused people from cruel and unusual punishment, meaning it’s okay for cities to criminalize people for sleeping outdoors. Extreme weather is difficult even under the best of circumstances (i.e. with housing), and surviving extreme weather is much, much harder for those living on the streets. That’s where mutual aid comes in.

What is mutual aid? Mutual aid is about cooperating to serve community members. Mutual aid creates networks of care and generosity to meet the immediate needs of our neighbors. It also addresses the root causes of challenges we face and demands transformative change. 

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

As it becomes increasingly clear that the powerful elite has no interest in listening to or working on behalf of we-the-people, mutual aid shines brighter as a powerful way to share our energy. I hoped to find a national database of mutual aid efforts around the country that I could link here, but was unsuccessful (many mutual aid efforts started at the beginning of the pandemic have since folded). However, if you do a search for your city + mutual aid, you will get some hits. For instance, Zippy and I help via Rocky Mountain Mutual Aid Network (RMMAN) which collaborates with Joy’s Kitchen to get “saved” food to needy households. We also carry bottled water, granola bars, and masks in our car to offer people flying signs or washing windshields at stop lights. After that disastrous Supreme Court ruling against the unhoused, I came across this very helpful thread listing specific ways to offer aid to the unhoused.

I’ll close with this beautiful poem by the incredible Joy Hargo.

Once the World Was Perfect
BY JOY HARJO

Once the world was perfect, and we were happy in that world.
Then we took it for granted.
Discontent began a small rumble in the earthly mind.
Then Doubt pushed through with its spiked head.
And once Doubt ruptured the web,
All manner of demon thoughts
Jumped through—
We destroyed the world we had been given
For inspiration, for life—
Each stone of jealousy, each stone
Of fear, greed, envy, and hatred, put out the light.
No one was without a stone in his or her hand.
There we were,
Right back where we had started.
We were bumping into each other
In the dark.
And now we had no place to live, since we didn’t know
How to live with each other.
Then one of the stumbling ones took pity on another
And shared a blanket.
A spark of kindness made a light.
The light made an opening in the darkness.
Everyone worked together to make a ladder.
A Wind Clan person climbed out first into the next world,
And then the other clans, the children of those clans, their children,
And their children, all the way through time—
To now, into this morning light to you.
Joy Harjo, “Once the World Was Perfect” from Conflict Resolution for Holy Beings.  Copyright © 2015 by Joy Harjo.
——-
Thank you for reading this far. I’d love to hear your thoughts on any or all of what’s mentioned here, especially any further tips/ideas for helping out in our communities. Either way, take good care. Solidarity! ✊🏽

Twofer Tuesday: out my window

/ Tracy Abell / 12 Comments

Today I’m grateful for all the activity that’s viewable from my windows. Just a while ago, I paused my laundry duties to watch house wrens at the nesting box hanging outside the window. Nothing like a little avian activity to lighten the drudgery of dealing with dirty sheets and towels.

Last week, I photographed this youngster eating the nut munch we provide for neighborhood squirrels. I smiled the entire time.

A few minutes later, I was gifted the sighting of this magpie and its colorful plumage. It wasn’t until looking at the photos that I realized a tail feather is damaged. That imperfection doesn’t detract from its beauty, but instead adds to its mystique.

It’s currently 95 degrees and I’m hunkered down inside, grateful for the swamp cooler keeping the house cool-ish and for the windows that allow glimpses of our wildlife visitors.

Climate Movement Monday: STOP utility shut-offs during extreme heat

/ Tracy Abell / 3 Comments

Welcome back to Movement Mondays in which I typically highlight a frontline community enduring the worst of the climate crisis and then offer a quick action you can take on their behalf. Today’s frontline communities are the elderly and low-income households, especially people of color. I’m amplifying a message received from 198methods.org regarding utility companies shutting off people’s power despite the extreme heat still slamming much of the country.

Image by Claudia Engel from Pixabay

The following background info is from an email received from 198methods.org but if you’re pressed for time, click HERE to personalize a letter to your two Senators and one Representative, asking them to use their power to increase funding for the Low Income Home Energy Assistance Program (LIHEAP). If we can send billions of dollars to fight a proxy war in the Ukraine, we can certainly afford to make sure people don’t die due to the combination of extreme heat and heartless utility companies shutting off their AC.

Please take two minutes to click HERE to personalize a letter to your two Senators and one Representative, asking them to use their power to increase funding for the Low Income Home Energy Assistance Program (LIHEAP).

Thank you for reading and taking action! Please, if you or someone you know is  suffering extreme heat and have had the power turned off, reach out via my contact form and I will get you some help.

Solidarity! ✊🏽

Climate Movement Monday: declaring a climate emergency + good news

/ Tracy Abell / 6 Comments

Welcome back to Movement Mondays in which I write about  climate-related issues along with quick actions you can take on behalf of people and planet. I won’t lie, it was tempting to not post anything today so that I could avoid thinking about what’s happening all across the globe. Here in the Denver metro region, the wind’s been blowing hard across the dry land while multiple wildfires burn in the southwest portion of the state. A new report says over 300,000 Colorado homes are at risk of burning in wildfires, second only to California.  In Lahaina, Maui, 114 people are confirmed dead and another 1,000 are missing (including many unhoused people), while yesterday in southern California, residents faced torrential rain and flooding due to Tropical Storm Hilary PLUS a 5.1 magnitude earthquake. As I write this, the National Hurricane center is warning that “continued life-threatening and locally catastrophic flooding” is expected over portions of the southwestern U.S., along with “record breaking” rainfall and potential flooding in states as far north as Oregon and Idaho.

That’s (some of) the bad news. The good news is that the calls for Biden to declare a climate emergency via the National Emergencies Act are growing louder. A quick online search turned up “How Bad Do Things Have to Get for Joe Biden to Declare a Climate Emergency?” and “Editorial: Biden says he’s ‘practically’ declared a climate emergency. Why won’t he do it for real?” and “Biden faces calls to declare climate emergency as he heads to Maui.” 

Associated Press-Lynn Sladky // Students cheer during a protest organized by the U.S. Youth Climate Strike outside of Miami Beach City Hall, as part of a global day of climate action, Friday, Sept. 20, 2019.

Declaring a climate emergency would unlock powers allowing Biden to implement drastic measures to address the climate crisis. July 2023 was the hottest month ever recorded on the planet, and we the people need to make our wishes known so that Biden uses his power for good.  Please, take two minutes to contact the White House.

————————————————————————————————————

Call the WHITE HOUSE SWITCHBOARD: 202-456-1414 and ask to be connected to the COMMENT LINE. Leave a brief message with the volunteer operator: “Please declare a climate emergency via the National Emergencies Act to unlock your powers to combat this climate crisis. No new fossil fuel projects!”
You may also send an email.
Repeat as necessary. 😉

————————————————————————————————————

GOOD NEWS

“Ecuadorians reject oil drilling in the Amazon, ending operations in protected area”

A landmark climate ruling in Montana: A judge last week ruled the young plaintiffs have the right to a clean environment – and experts say this changed the climate litigation landscape

The Inflation Reduction Act is fueling a factory frenzy. Here’s the latest tally.

** Remember, on September 17th, the March to End Fossil Fuels will be held in New York City from 1p – 4pm. The march will coincide with the UN Climate Action Summit and is being organized by a coalition of local and national organizations. There’s tons of info here, including links to volunteer (including making phone calls & sending texts) and/or donate in support of the march. The GET INVOLVED page has more info, including “hubs” (both by interest AND region) that you can join. This is a massive and exciting effort that has huge potential to shift climate policy.

Thank you for reading this far and I invite you to leave a comment about conditions where you live, feelings around climate change, or to share some good news. In the meanwhile,  I send wishes for moderate weather wherever you are, raising my fist in solidarity! ✊🏽

Climate Movement Monday: Declare a Climate Emergency + flood relief

/ Tracy Abell / 7 Comments

Hello, again! Before going any farther, I want to ask you to PLEASE keep up the pressure on Biden to declare a Climate Emergency under the National Emergencies Act (which unlocks all sorts of executive powers–scroll down for specifics). Personally, I cannot get a call through to the White House Comment Line (202 456 1111) so I email Biden and now have a daily plan to call my two Senators and one Representative to implore that they use ALL their power to pressure Biden to declare a climate emergency. If you don’t know your Senators, look here. To find your Representative, look here. Personalize your communication by letting them know what climate-induced extreme weather you’re experiencing. THANK YOU IN ADVANCE! 

Okay, so it’s another Movement Monday post in which I typically highlight a frontline community enduring the immediate effects of the climate crisis then offer ways to support that community. Today my focus is on helping those impacted by flooding, specifically in the northeastern U.S. (However, horrific flooding is also happening all around the globe while deadly heat waves affect other regions. For instance, a region in northwest China just hit a record-breaking 126 degrees.)

The GOOD NEWS is that China is leading the world in taking aggressive climate action to implement renewable energy. The link to Kyle’s twitter thread with its many articles on what China is accomplishing can be found here. Read it and expand your vision of what is possible! There’s plenty of reason for hope!

 

Related to that good news, while Texas endures weeks of deadly temperatures that strain its power grid, solar power and battery storage played a huge roll in preventing blackouts. (See what’s possible?) You can read about that here.

Okay, now here are some organizations helping out those in the northeast.

NEW YORK & VERMONT:

  • Team Rubicon is a veteran-led humanitarian organization that serves global communities before, during, and after disasters and humanitarian crises. They’re on the ground in New York and Vermont, and are accepting donations for their annual fundraising goal of $120,000. Donate here.

VERMONT:

  • Vermont Public is partnering with the Vermont Community Foundation to collect donations for the Vermont Flood Response & Recovery Fund 2023 today (7.17.23) through midnight on Sunday, July 23rd
    Donate here OR donate directly to Vermont Community Foundation here.

There was also flooding in Pennsylvania, New Hampshire, and Massachusetts (and possibly other places I’m missing?), but I’ve been unable to find organizations accepting donations. PLEASE let me know if you come across any reputable places to donate and I will update this post.

Thank you for reading and caring for others in their time of need. We’re all in this together and collective action is what will save us! 

Solidarity! ✊🏽

Thankful Thursday: documented poppy

/ Tracy Abell

I photographed the neighbors’ glorious poppy on June 8 which is good because even if it had bloomed this long, it would be no-more.

Last night we had heavy hail that shredded leaves and plants around the neighborhood and today we had another round of very heavy rain** and more hail. While I do appreciate the moisture (my perspective is “as long as we’re soggy, we won’t start on fire”), there’s such a thing as moderation. We’re clearly experiencing extreme weather all around the globe, but I won’t go into the depressing realities of the climate crisis.

Instead, today I give thanks that I took the time to document this gorgeous flower so that it could be enjoyed forever. May it bring you a smile!

** 1.5 – 2.5″ of rain in 1-2 hours in our neighborhood

My refuge

/ Tracy Abell / 3 Comments

We went for a walk at 8:00 this morning despite the cold temperature because we wanted to be back inside before the wind started blowing again. And we just made it. As soon as we returned, I went out to clean and refill the bird bath (which was filled with pine needles, dirt, and other debris from yesterday’s wind) and that’s when the wind began raging again. (Note: the bath’s already polluted but there’s no point in cleaning now).

As noted yesterday, my anxiety levels were high (update: the fire in Park County spread to Teller County and has now burned 1,200 acres) and I chose to put on music loud enough to drown out the sound of the heavy gusts of wind while I played with ink and paints.

I copied each of these animals from a drawing book and consider them a huge success. Not because the crocodile looks like she has mumps or because what appears to be an otter was actually supposed to be a weasel. No, I consider my little art session a success because for a while there I was not thinking about our wildfire evacuation kit, the extreme drought and water shortage here in the West, or how the Biden administration continues to authorize more oil and gas drilling on federal lands. Instead, I was focused on drawing silly little pictures and learning how to use paints.

And now I’m going back to my art table where I’ll turn up the music and create some more. Oh, and comfort Emma when she gets agitated about those 50-mph gusts of wind.

Wishing you calm wherever you are.

Dust in the wind

/ Tracy Abell / 1 Comment

The wind is BLOWING right now. (Per my phone, weather is currently: “62 degrees and blowing widespread dust.”) It’s warm and very dry here in Colorado and one wildfire’s already burning in Park County. My wildfire anxiety is HIGH. Emma’s pressed up against my feet right now because the house shakes and the roof creaks with each particularly strong gust of wind. Making matters worse, tomorrow’s supposed to be even windier than today. Ugh.

I’m going to abort my writing plans and instead play loud music to drown out the nightmare outside while I create some art. Before I go, here’s a tree I photographed yesterday when we hiked at Castlewood Canyon State Park (where the wind had already started). We still had a lovely time.

I went searching for a wind-related quote and found this which feels like a good antidote to my current windy reality and a good match for this photo.  Enjoy.

We never look deeply into the quality of a tree; we never really touch it, feel its solidity, its rough bark, and hear the sound that is part of the tree. Not the sound of wind through the leaves, not the breeze of a morning that flutters the leaves, but its own sound, the sound of the trunk and the silent sound of the roots.
 ~ Jiddu Krishnamurti

Warm imagery

/ Tracy Abell

This morning my phone told me it was –10 degrees outside which would explain the frost and ice on the insides of the bedroom window. It eventually got a little warmer, but was still so cold that when Zippy went out for a few minutes to shovel, he lost feeling in his fingers. I haven’t gone outside today and am exceedingly grateful I had the luxury to make that decision.

In case you’re also enduring brutally cold temperatures, here’s a photo from July 2020 when I crawled beneath the day lilies as they reached for the warm, blue sky:

I look forward to seeing those cheery flowers again.

Wishful thinking

/ Tracy Abell / 8 Comments

It’s currently 6 degrees (and according to the weather app, “feels like  –6”) so I’m warming myself with a memory of last July when we were camping in Routt National Forest.

Not only was it much warmer on that day, we could also hike on the trails. Around here, it’s been so wet and muddy that I haven’t been out in the open space for a couple months. And today I haven’t even ventured outside, not even to walk Emma. It’s too damned cold.

But yesterday? It was in the upper 50s.
Make it make sense.

Conjuring warm memories

/ Tracy Abell / 6 Comments

It’s bitterly cold today and uppermost in my mind is that I’m exceedingly grateful for my warm home. We had to take our dog to the vet this morning and it was a slow fourteen mile drive. Many were equally cautious but, of course, there were those who treated the snowy-icy streets as their personal speedway. We had to detour on the way home to pick up something and by the time I was at the red light at the top of our exit ramp, I was looking forward to being off the road.

WHAM!

Rear-ended by someone who’d missed the memo that the streets were freaking slippery. The good news is there was no damage to the car (except the impact knocked the muffler tape loose and now our old Subaru is REALLY loud again). The bad news? The collision triggered my PTSD and I was weepy and shaky for a bit, not to mention suddenly feeling so much anger toward people. The unmasked and the fast drivers, aka the people who don’t seem to give a damn about anyone else’s health and well-being. Part of the issue is that I’ve been rear-ended a bunch of times over the years and I’m really, really sick of it.

But again, uppermost in my mind today as the temperatures dipped well below zero is that I’m exceedingly grateful for my warm home. In that spirit, here’s a beautiful Mourning Dove I photographed at the Chatfield Audubon Center last May. A much more soothing image than the puffed-out birds hunkered down in the trees today.

Peace until all of us.

Happy Solstice

/ Tracy Abell / 5 Comments

Today is the shortest day of the year and tomorrow we begin gaining daylight. Despite the incremental change at first, it’s still a huge boost to mental health. And we need it here in Colorado as we brace ourselves for an arctic blast. Tonight it will get down to -12 degrees F and tomorrow’s high will be a whopping -1 degree. And thanks to the climate crisis, we’re also smelling smoke from a wildfire in Boulder County (almost exactly one year after the Marshall Fire last December!) Cold enough to kill people and dry/windy enough to burn everything down. How’s that for messed up?

Anyway, this is some kind of hybrid dragonly/butterfly we found while clearing out my mother-in-law’s house. The six-inch by four-inch, bejeweled curiosity now hangs in my writing room window and I just photographed it as the foothills went dark. The bluish tinge is a result of the Arctic filter I applied, which felt appropriate.

Here’s to more hospitable days. Happy Solstice, everyone!

Winter running

/ Tracy Abell

Over the weekend, I made a vow to start running every other day again which meant today is running day. But it’s only 24 degrees. Ugh. So I decided to run inside on the treadmill, then thought about the monotony of treadmill running and decided to give it a try outside. I put on my warm togs and a face mask, hoping my glasses wouldn’t steam up.

Photo by Xeniya Kovaleva at Pexels.com

Although my mask wasn’t nearly as festive as that one and the neighborhood streets were dry, other than that this photo has the exact same vibe. HA. Just a happy-go-lucky run in frigid temperatures. I concentrated on inhaling through my nose and exhaling through my mouth which mostly kept my glasses steam-free . . . until they weren’t and it became impossible to see. So I took off the mask and ran the rest of the way home. 

Now my cheeks are rosy-red and I’m happily indoors again, swimming in a warm sea of endorphins. Mission accomplished.

2 truths on 2.22.22

/ Tracy Abell / 8 Comments

(1) We still turn on our holiday lights despite the fact we’re nearing the end of February.

February 2, 2022

(2) It’s 4:43 of the p.m. and I’m still in my pajamas.

♫  I’ve gotta be me,  I’ve gotta be me 
what else can I be but what I am

#Snowpocalypse Now

/ Tracy Abell / 8 Comments

All week, those of us in Colorado were bombarded with forecasts for an epic snowstorm. The forecasts frequently changed (regarding intensity, snowfall, start time, etc.) and during one 45-minute period in which Zippy checked three times, he read three different forecasts. The whole situation began to feel a bit hyperbolic.** That’s no longer the case.

View out my front window about 4:45 p.m. on March 14, 2021

The birds are doing their best to weather the storm, including these two Northern Flickers clinging to the telephone pole and three American Robins hunkered down in a Russian Olive tree:

         

Photo quality is poor due to the swirling snow covering windows on all four sides of the house. (Full disclosure: my windows were already smudged by cats and dog).

Drought-stricken Colorado definitely needs moisture so I’m not complaining, especially since I’m warm and safe inside. I realize how very fortunate I am.

** My favorite tweet from the week (@PhosphoSolution):

 

 

Nature for the win

/ Tracy Abell

There are so many thoughts and feelings jumbled inside me right now regarding the climate crisis, green new deal, capitalism, greed, cruelty, political failure, collective trauma, heartache and rage, but rather than unpack all that, I opted for self-care. I just spent the last thirty minutes looking through photos from camping trips and hikes, birding excursions, quick getaways in the nearby open space, etc. It was nice to gaze upon and remember those moments.

May 6, 2019

Because I need to get outside to shovel the much-needed snow we finally got last night, I had to quit my trip down memory lane and make a photographic decision. I opted to celebrate (again) the juvenile Limpkin that allowed me to take many photos of it when I visited Kapok Park.

One bird can’t change the trajectory of the world, but this limpkin can and did soothe my soul. Maybe it will do the same for you.

Emma sees the future

/ Tracy Abell / 2 Comments

I took this photo exactly one year ago and I’m now wondering if Emma closed her eyes because she saw into the future.

Maybe Emma sensed that one year later we’d be on Day 12 of a mold issue/odor issue in our pantry during a stretch of brutally cold weather. Maybe she knew the mold mitigation company would have to come out to treat the problem a second time. Maybe our sweet Emma couldn’t bear to see what was coming.

Maybe or maybe not. But if Emma really was that damned clairvoyant, I wish she’d given us a heads-up on the improperly mounted chimney cap that was gonna cause major condensation problems.

I’ll huff and I’ll puff

/ Tracy Abell

. . . and I’ll blow your fence down.

Did the Big Bad Wolf pay us a visit last night? No. But we did have wind gusts strong enough to repeatedly slam a tree branch against the side of the house, causing our doggo much anxiety and me much grumpiness. I put a pillow over my head and eventually fell asleep.

December 23, 2020. Photo by Wildebeest

I was the last one awake and upright this morning. However, I was the first to notice something was not-right. Zippy and Wildebeest somehow both failed to see the fence was down. When I pointed it out to him, Zippy replied, “Oh, that’s probably why it took Emma so long to come back inside this morning. Guess she was out exploring.”

Fence companies are VERY busy right now. Zippy erected a temporary fence across the thirty-foot gap while we wait. It may be months. Prediction: Emma has several more adventures in her near future.

This is a climate emergency

/ Tracy Abell / 2 Comments

August 15, 2020

What is the use of a house if you haven’t got a tolerable planet to put it on?     ~ Henry David Thoreau

Zippy took this photo last month and while today’s air quality isn’t nearly so orange, I’m not spending any time outside. The local air quality index reads “Unhealthy for sensitive groups.” I’ll go out on a limb and say I think this translates to “the air is unhealthy for everyone and everything.”

Exceptionalism?! All over the United States, people are hiding indoors to escape the ravages of the climate crisis. And our elected officials don’t care, so it’ll only get worse.

Some of my favorite things

/ Tracy Abell / 7 Comments

Earlier this week, I prepared for the coming massive drop in temperature (over 60 degrees in 24 hours) and snowstorm by putting buckets over three of my sedum plants. The sedum had just come into bloom and I couldn’t bear thinking about the bees and butterflies losing that food. While we did lose a huge limb from our red maple, the plants fared better.

September 12, 2020

The sedum survived and my winged friends were out in force today.

(Shout-out to Michelle who would’ve been fifty years old today. She also loved flora and fauna.)

Winter wonderment

/ Tracy Abell / 5 Comments

Two days ago it was 70+ degrees here in Colorado and I went out for a run in a t-shirt. Yesterday, the temperatures dropped to about 25 degrees. Today? About 11 degrees and the snow keeps falling. I’m trying to focus on the cozy aspects of being “trapped” inside. Tea, books, space heater. More tea.

I’m also keeping an eye on the feeders.

Northern Flicker. February 4, 2020.

S[he] who marvels at the beauty of the world in summer will find equal cause for wonder and admiration in winter.    ~ John Burroughs

 

Got to have the terror

/ Tracy Abell

Today is cold and icy. Again. Unlike two weeks ago, I am not venturing outside because I very much do not want to slip and fall again. Instead, I went in search of an appropriate quotation for this ice-encrusted day. I found the following . It speaks to me, despite never having directed a film. I read it as “Writing a novel is mystifying…”

Directing is mystifying. It’s a long, long, skid on an icy road, and you do the best you can trying to stay on the road… If you’re still here when you come out of the spin, it’s a relief. But you’ve got to have the terror if you’re going to do anything worthwhile.
~ Mike Nichols

Image by Hans Braxmeier from Pixabay

Suffice to say, I’m firmly in the white-knuckle, can-I-pull-this-off portion of the writing process right now. First drafts can be simultaneously exhilarating and puke-inducing.