I’ve set a running goal for myself to place in the top fifteen in my age group this Memorial Day in the Bolder Boulder 10k. I’m dedicated to making that happen; I participated in a winter training group and am now in a 10k spring training program. I’m following the weekly workouts. I have a coach available to answer questions and boost my morale when necessary. I’m confident I’m going to reach my goal.
And now I’m trying to figure out how this whole confidence thing works. The good thing about running is the results are objective; the clock doesn’t lie. So when I’m running intervals until my lungs burn I try to remember that the pain is an investment in my 10k performance, and I push on through. But it’s more difficult pushing myself in the writing life. Lately as I work on revisions, it’s easy to falter and second-guess. I know my writing has improved in the ten-plus years since I began my first novel but instead of measuring up against a stop watch, my performance is evaluated by editors. So far I haven’t placed, much less in the top fifteen.
My hope is that as I continue to train, getting stronger and faster, my runner’s confidence will overflow into my writing life.
- “If I have lost confidence in myself, I have the universe against me.”
- Ralph Waldo Emerson