An ICE-capped mountain of horribleness and the people who refuse to give in

Last week’s passage and signing of the they want us dead bill is horrifying on every level so it’s hard to point to one “worst” element, but there’s a case to be made that giving Immigration and Custom Enforcements (ICE) $170 billion is at the top of the list. As a PIC abolitionist (prison industrial complex), I’m horrified by the $45 billion to nearly double the current immigrant detention capacity. Also horrifying is the fact we already have masked people (many of whom, I’m quite certain, railed against masking for public health but are quite happy to don a mask in order to inflict terror) showing up in neighborhoods with their guns, eager to fulfill their white supremacist dreams.

Here’s a video thread from independent L.A. journalist Mel Buer in Los Angeles today: UPDATED INFO BELOW**

from Mel Buer on Bluesky

From Mel Buer thread on Bluesky

These highly militarized and faceless people descended upon a community to inflict terror. Apparently, after Mayor Bass spoke to someone at Department of Homeland Security (DHS), the terror goons packed up and left as people from the community chased them out, shouting their disdain. One participant in the video thread said the goons released mace on their way out. Again, the thread can be found here.

** UPDATE from Ken Klippenstein: Operation Excalibur in Los Angeles Is “Show of Presence” (I don’t know whether to laugh or cry)

This morning I also happened upon Garrett M. Graff’s article Four Fears About ICE, Trump’s New Masked Monster. Reading Graff’s take opened my eyes to issues I hadn’t considered. For instance, he draws parallels with what happened when war criminal G.W. Bush played on post 9/11 fears to double the size of Border Patrol. Spoiler alert: an escalation in violence and corruption. Graff raises four major issues:

1) THE HOW — ICE can’t grow that fast.
2) THE WHO — We should fear specifically who the next 10,000 ICE officers will be.
3) THE WHAT — Funding ICE and CBP at this level marks a fundamental and dangerous shift in the balance of the rule of law and federal law enforcement.
4) THE WHY — Trump’s vast spending increase will coincide with an increasingly lawless administration.

I recommend reading the entire article, not a fun or uplifting read, but vital to our understanding of where we’re at in this country.

If you’ve read this far, you’re probably thinking “Thanks for the doom and gloom, Tracy. What can we possibly do about all this?” Well, it’s true that we don’t have representation that listens to the will of the people (say, for instance, those sounding the alarm that “people will die if kicked off Medicaid so PLEASE DO NOT CUT MEDICAID!”), but we do have each other! And, as Mariame Kaba says, “People are in motion, everywhere.” All around this country, people are organizing for their communities and pushing back against the authoritarians. We are not helpless and the situation is not hopeless. This horrific moment provides room for people to come together to effect change. I guarantee there’s a mutual aid group in your community. (Note: our local group wasn’t on that map so we had to ask around and check bulletin boards.) Yesterday, Zippy and I met with a group here, and I not only left with joy in my heart to have connected with those folks but also a renewed commitment to building community.

I’ve shared this document from Mariame Kaba before–Some Actions That Are Not Protesting or Votingand encourage you again to check it out for ideas on how you can take action in a way that works for you. I will also reshare this from Garrett Bucks: Thirty lonely but beautiful actions you can take right now.

The authoritarians are trying their hardest to inflict the most damage they can in the shortest amount of time, and they’re counting on us being overwhelmed and demoralized and passive. Instead, let’s keep our hearts soft and squishy, filled with compassion and empathy, and fight together for people and planet.

Please don’t hesitate to send a private message if you have questions, ideas, thoughts, or experiences you’d rather not share publicly. I’m here for you. Solidarity.

Coming in for a landing

I’ve been losing myself in revisions of my middle grade novel–grateful for the distraction from this brutal reality–and am close to being finished.

Sandhill Crane at Monte Vista National Wildlife Refuge. March 12, 2024

While I’m still a day or two away from being done, I believe in celebrating every step along the way. So, today I celebrate myself and this project as I prepare for the final landing. Yay!

Nature’s refuge

I’m in the final stretch of revisions before sending the middle-grade manuscript back to my agent so the book can go on submission in the new year. The work feels both like a blessing and a curse. I’m grateful to be able to focus on something besides the horrific reality of our government’s complicity in the genocide in Gaza, but also sometimes feel selfish for escaping reality. Deep inside, I know that’s silly, and not only because the story I’m revising focuses on righting societal wrongs.

I also realize it’s silly to begrudge myself my creative outlet because we all need a refuge, whether it’s via the art we create or connection to the natural world.

July 20, 2023

In that spirit, I’m offering this Painted Lady on a sunflower. I photographed this in July and gazing upon their interconnectedness replenished my spirit as soon as I found it in my files. Maybe this image will do the same for you.

Thankful Thursday: assortment edition

Hello, out there! I haven’t been around much because I’ve been hunkered down in the revision cave. However, today I am thankful because:

  • I finally, finally sent my revised manuscript to my agent earlier this week!
  • A family member made it through a surgery today!
  • Our new ebike was delivered this afternoon and Zippy just finished putting it all together (minus the front and back baskets)!

While Zippy is a bicyclist, I haven’t ridden a bike in years and have been content to keep running for my cardio exercise. So why the ebike? We’d like to avoid using our gas-powered vehicle as much as possible and because we live on a hill, running errands on a bike is very daunting. Zippy can ride up the hill but I’d have to get off and walk a bike for the approximate mile of incline. Oof.

But now  I’ll have pedal-assist when it comes to that big ol’ hill. I’ll be able to go to the library to return books and check out more! It’ll be a breeze going to the office supply store when I need another notebook or some pens! When Zippy is missing an ingredient for whatever delicious meal he’s preparing, I’ll be able to zip down to the supermarket and back! Yay yay yay!

In case anyone’s interested, the Heybike sale is going for another day. I realize it’s still LOTS of money (I’m also very thankful for our ability to invest in this bike), but wanted to put this info out there. Customer satisfaction seems to be very high for this bike. I’ll keep you posted on our experiences. In the meanwhile, I hope you and yours are having a good week!

Caturday revisions

As I revise my middle-grade manuscript today, I’ve been visited by both cats. Marcel came up on the table next to my laptop, sniffing around, wondering why I wasn’t reading on the couch where he could nap in my lap.

Still, his presence was much less of an annoyance than his brother Loki’s many visits throughout the day when he’s either cried to be fed some more or demanded I pet him (some more), and nipped at my hand when I stopped.

I haven’t been around the blogging community as much as I’d like this month because I’ve been working hard to make this manuscript shine and after hours on the computer, my eyes need a rest. I hope to catch up with everyone after sending off my revisions. In the meanwhile, I’ll have to settle for the company of my two feline friends and their tag-team visits.

Wishing everyone a wonderful weekend. Happy #Caturday!

Red-eyed kinship

Feeling a kinship with this Spotted Towhee and its red eyes.

In my backyard. July 20, 2023

Just spent the last couple hours staring at my manuscript on my laptop as I made revision notes in the margins. My agent sent me a whopping seven pages of editorial thoughts/questions at the beginning of the week and after spending several days mulling over her email, I’m now plotting how to implement the changes I want to make. I’ll be honest: today’s session was harder than yesterday’s when optimism was high and I actually allowed myself to think “This isn’t going to take as long as I’d thought!”

But the cool thing about the writing process is that none of the emotions I feel last forever. Not the positive or the negative. So, I’m going to step away from the manuscript and rest my eyes, knowing that tomorrow will bring its own set of emotions. Whatever they are, I’ll be ready (but hopefully, not reddy). Sorry, not sorry. 🙂

Prison Library Support Network

Today I did a two-hour Reference Volunteer Training with the Prison Library Support Network (PLSN). How it works: incarcerated people write to PLSN with reference questions that require research they can’t access in jail or prison then volunteers do the research and send the information via an intermediary from PLSN.

Image by Fifaliana Joy from Pixabay

After learning the basics of the program, we were divided into two-person teams in Zoom break-out rooms to answer one letter per team. We didn’t actually answer the letters, but did go through the steps in the process: read and identify the question(s) in the letter; review the mail policy for that particular prison*; brainstorm and list the information sources we’d use to answer our question(s); write out an example of how we’d list the reference materials (mailing address, URL, formal citation); describe any special formatting (PDF of website page, screenshot of chart, etc.).

It was an eye-opening experience. One of the trainers asked us to consider how many random things we “google” each day, which helped put into perspective some of the questions asked. For instance, my team’s letter was a list of 10 questions** that were a mix of “important” and what might be considered “not-so-important” questions that someone on the outside might quickly search on their phone while in conversation with a friend. Incarcerated people don’t have that ability, so  I totally get how they maybe just can’t stop wondering what is the world’s longest snake species.*** My teammate and I prioritized the questions and focused on how we’d gather information for those, with the hope we’d also have room in the response for the “not-so-important” answers.

It’s a little intimidating to think about being entrusted with these letters and sifting through ALL the information out there. But there’s lots of support within the group and there’s a person who reviews everything before the response letters get mailed. Better yet, we get to choose the letters we answer which means I can focus on topics within my wheelhouse rather than, for instance, answer legal questions. There’s a countrywide network of volunteers with varied backgrounds and some have law degrees, others are research librarians, and there’s probably a zoologist who knows about that world’s longest snake. 

If you’re interested in this project, PLSN offers a training session each month. They emphasized today that completing the training did NOT obligate us to be part of the program. We were free to check it out and see what we thought. (I’m gonna go for it.) 

————————–
*Here’s a peek at the confusing and convoluted mail policies in Arkansas:

AS OF AUGUST 21, 2017, In an effort to reduce the introduction of contraband into our facilities, inmates will only receive two sheets of 8½ x 11 inches of copy paper, which will include a copy of the envelope and three pieces of the correspondence on the four-sides of the two sheets of copy paper. Only black and white copies will be made, and no cards, larger size paper, or anything else will be manipulated to fit on the copy paper. Additionally, any general correspondence that exceeds these limits will be treated as contraband. The inmate will have thirty (30) days to pay for return postage or it will be destroyed. Please write all letters in dark ink only (black or blue ink). Do not use pencils or yellow markers because it will reduce image quality. Note the examples below that illustrate copy quality when using ink versus pencil.

** new policy limits each letter to three questions

*** not a question from today

Sunday Confessional: I, too, dislike the synopsis

I find myself without literary representation after nearly five years working with my former agent. We parted ways in August because her list has changed and she no longer feels well-connected with children’s lit editors and publishers. She worked very hard on behalf of me and my stories, but now I’m agentless. That’s the bad news. The good news is that I have a brand-new, shiny middle grade manuscript ready to query other agents. Unfortunately, the querying process often requires the inclusion of a one-page synopsis of the entire work.

Have you ever tried distilling a 48,000-word novel down to 500 words? It ain’t easy.

However, a writer friend reminded me of Susan Dennard’s 2012 post on the Pub(lishing) Crawl site: How to Write a 1-Page Synopsis so I’m using that format. Still, it’s not fun and I keep finding other stuff to do instead. Such as writing this blog post which is basically me complaining about how I’d really rather not have to write a synopsis! And searching for a fun goat photo to make me smile!

So, aside from announcing I share the near-universal dislike for writing a synopsis,  what’s my confession here? Well, it’s that I keep learning and relearning how different my writing brain is from many other writers. I don’t think in Three Acts or even Beginning, Middle, and End. I write more on an instinctual level. That’s fine, but it also means it takes me longer to pinpoint my novel’s Plot Points and the story’s Midpoint (which doesn’t refer to whatever happens on the exact middle page of the manuscript). No doubt I’ll figure it out as soon as I stop procrastinating. After all, I’ve written synopses before and can do it again.  Still, it’s kinda a bummer to realize after all this time that it’s still a struggle to write the darn things.

Thankful Thursday

Today I am thankful for:
beautiful surprises along the trail,

Lynx Pass Campground. July 13, 2022

creatives & their creations,
hitting SEND on a brand new manuscript to my agent,
rain last night & cooler temperatures today,
and my family, friends, and comrades in this beautiful & brutal world.

Snacks all around!

I spent the afternoon reading through my middle grade manuscript after a ten-day break and am very pleased. There are a few tiny continuity issues to clean up, but that’s it. I am really proud of this novel in which I shine a light on the prison industrial complex via a story of friendship set in a little town called Grapple.

None of us is free until we are all free. Abolition, yo.

July 13, 2022

I’ll say it again . . . I love this book.
Snacks on me!

Intentional peace

Yesterday, we drove Moby the Great White Campervan to the mountains for some rest and relaxation. Our intention was a few hours of peace and rejuvenation. We’d never been there before and were thrilled to claim a small parking area next to Buffalo Creek. I explored with the camera and captured some nice shots. This is where I sat to work on my novel revisions.

Buffalo Creek. June 22, 2022

I sat in a chair on the little patch of beach at the bottom of the photo and revised a chapter on my laptop as Zippy and Emma napped in the van. Rushing water. Clean air. A shiny, green hummingbird buzzing in for a visit.

The entire experience soothed my spirit and, as I type these words, I’m already looking forward to a return visit. May each of us experience peace and rejuvenation in these very difficult days.

Joyful tidings

I am overflowing with joy right now after finishing the latest round of revisions on my middle grade novel. One full day ahead of my self-imposed deadline!

July 15, 2021

I love this book. But for the next little while (two weeks, at the absolute minimum), I’m not going to think about those characters and their problems at all. I’m gonna soak up some of the life that takes place away from my standing desk and refill my well. Starting with our first camping trip of the season later this week. Woot!

Joyful tidings, indeed.

P.S. Did you know that a flock of magpies is called a “tiding”? Me, neither. So how cool is it that this morning’s oracle card drawing from my feathered messengers deck was . . . MAGPIE!

Lending my voice

These are incredibly hard days on the planet and I’m overwhelmed. But as I revised my middle grade novel this morning, I felt a renewed sense of purpose because this story matters. It’s about community, friendship, mass incarceration, and taking one step forward on the long road to abolition.

This story matters and my voice matters. I cannot crawl into a hole and give up.

March 13, 2022. (Photo by Zippy)

I am on this earth to shine my light and lend my voice to the fight for a better world. This post is a reminder for when I begin to falter again. 💓

Twofer Tuesday: feline edition

When the brothers began a joint grooming session this morning, their synchronized licking (back legs held high) made for a great photo, and I hurried to grab the camera. But by the time I returned, the session had come to an end.

Loki & Marcel. March 22, 2022

They’ve been napping there for hours (surprise-surprise) and the entire time, Marcel has kept watch over my project notebook. When I gently removed it from beneath his sleeping body just now, the pages were warm. I choose to interpret that as a positive review for my latest middle grade novel.

O Monday where art thou?

Here it is nearly 5:30 of the p.m., sun gone for the day as temperatures drop and daylight slips away. I’ll admit, this is my least favorite time of winter days because of the increased risk of gloomy feelings that often involve beating myself up. As in, “you squandered those precious hours and what do you have to show for yourself now that it’s cold, dark, and dreary?”

Not playing those reindeer games today.

Bouquet from BB. February 2, 2022

Right now I’m basking in the glow of my accomplishments: Coffee and Wordle. Exercise.  Smoothing out trouble spots in my middle-grade novel, revising chapter 8, and falling in love with the manuscript all over again. A thoughtful phone conversation with Zebu. Laughter. Laundry. Email plus research for climate action meeting later this week. Finishing the excellent We Are All Birds of Uganda by Hafsa Zayyan. Healthy eating. Sharing snuggles with dog and cats (with special shout-out to Loki for lying down next to me while I did foam roller stretching).

It is true I respond best to blue skies and sunshine glinting off snow. But on this Monday evening, I’m content.

Apropos

This image of our Christmas Cactus (aka Schlumbergera) is sharp in places and soft in others because the camera’s focus wasn’t evenly distributed. In other words, a perfect image for today.

November 17, 2021

Why? Because:

  1. I’m experiencing ptsd-related issues in which my eyes struggle to process detail**, which means this mixture of sharp and soft feels familiar and
  2. while rereading my critique partners’ notes during today’s session of revision work on my latest middle grade novel, their comments revealed that while some parts of my story were in sharp, undeniable detail, other components were so soft around the edges those readers were unable to interpret intent.

This lovely bloom is a reminder that I need to keep working on my focus.

**for which I’m doing daily vision therapy to bring my eyes back into balance

Thankful Thursday

It might be nearing the end of the day, but it’s never too late to share gratitude. Today I am grateful for a productive critique session with my critique group last night.  As always, the Writing Roosters had good insights and offered suggestions that will make my beloved novel shine.

And to celebrate, here’s a bouquet of wild asters  that remind me of a fireworks display. I photographed them last summer as we hiked the Oh Be Joyful Trail.

July 15, 2021

Oh, to be joyful and filled with gratitude.

Today I’m the tiny wasp

Only 16 days to finish these revisions before I send the middle grade manuscript to my critique group. It was a bold move, requesting that critique slot when I’d only revised slightly less the half the manuscript, but I needed an incentive. And because I’ve been making solid progress, the last few days I’ve congratulated myself for imposing a deadline.

August 4, 2021

Today, though, I feel tiny in the face of all the work that remains. Onward I fly.

Send lawyers guns and money

Okay, I’m being a big dramatic. But something’s gotta give here in Day 4 (or is it Day 5?) of working on the same damned chapter. I’m stuck.

Image by TheDigitalWay from Pixabay

Each time I think I’ve sorted things and gotten some momentum, I come to another screeching halt. It’s part brain, part exhausted-by-reality, part lack of confidence, and part what’s-the-freaking-point.

Maybe I’ve jinxed myself by repeatedly expressing my gratitude for being able to create during these incredibly difficult days. Earlier this week, I did just that, sharing with a non-writer friend how grateful I was to be able to immerse myself in my project. I told her many creatives aren’t functioning as they’d like these days.

And now I’m not, either. Instead, I’m stuck between the rock and a hard place. Send lawyers, guns, and money.

Revision is like a flower

This Rocky Mountain Bee Plant feels like a symbol of where I’m at with the revisions of my middle grade novel. Some aspects of the story have fully bloomed and won’t change much as I continue revising.

August 7, 2021

Other aspects are still revealing themselves to me. Slowly unfurling their blossoms to become beautiful, integral, and incredibly obvious how-did-I-not-already-know-that components of the whole.

It’s an exciting and gratifying place to be in the process.

#Caturday editorial assistant

I was working on revisions in bed this morning when Marcel decided to check out the happenings. In true feline form, he chose to curl up on the very document I’d just set next to me.

As gently as possible, I removed it from beneath his vast bulk. Not to be dissuaded from his mission of chaos, Marcel began noisily licking the plastic bag containing my highlighters and post-its. I was less gentle in that removal.

A few minutes later, I relocated to the patio. Marcel is an indoor-only cat.

P.S. While they didn’t directly obscure my materials, a couple hummingbirds got into multiple dust-ups as I worked outside, distracting me with their darting aggression.

It’s pretty obvious that I deserve a medal for getting any work done today.

Sunday Confessional: stealthy art

I get where Patti Smith is coming from in this quote: “In art and dream may you proceed with abandon. In life may you proceed with balance and stealth.” And I think when I originally drafted my work-in-progress, I did approach my art with abandon.

But today, as I continue to revise, I’m feeling a bit stealthy as I sow bits and pieces of backstory throughout the first 50 pages of this middle grade novel. I need the reader to know certain things, but I don’t want the reader aware of my presence. I very much do NOT want those bits and pieces to scream
BACKSTORY!
INFO DUMP!
WARNING: HEAVY-HANDED AUTHOR ON THE LOOSE!

Instead, I’m trying my best to adopt this squirrel’s attitude.

July 30, 2021

No sudden moves. Only careful and deliberate revisions that I hope won’t call attention to my presence.

(Note: Patti’s quote resonates with me so much I previously used it here.)

Reward: three of my favorite things

Bees, blooms, and butterflies.

Showy Milkweed and pollinators.  July 9, 2021

I’m posting this photo as my reward for all I’ve accomplished today:

  • Exercise (indoor, again)
  • Revised a chapter
  • Healthy (mostly) eating
  • Finished Shirley Jackson’s LIFE AMONG THE SAVAGES
  • Swept the floor
  • Stayed the hell off Twitter (mostly)
  • Focused (mostly) on things within my control
  • Played with Emma and snuggled with Marcel (and allowed Loki to nap without interruption)

Yes, I’m one of those people who derive great satisfaction from checklists. And they’re especially important to me on days in which I feel very close to the edge.

Well done, Tracy.

Pondering

I feel a bit like this today as I work to fully realize one of the main characters in my work-in-progress:

Marcel. February 5, 2020

I know who the character is and what he’s about. And yet, two drafts in, he’s still a bit of a mystery. Most of his petals have unfurled, displaying his basic essence, but others remain closed to me. But just as this geranium flower eventually bloomed in full, so shall my character. And like Marcel, I’ll be there. Ready and waiting to absorb all that’s revealed.