Friday Five: The Wine-tasting Edition

                

I know, I know.
You’re scratching your heads, wondering how this photo translates into a Friday Five
when there are only four people in the picture (Mom, Sister, Me, and the surly Zippy).


                                                                                                                   photo by Bitsy

Well, sillies, it’s quite simple.
We were in Albuquerque’s Casa Rondena Winery tasting room, partaking of five wine samples.

 
Also, the fifth member of our party, Zippy’s sister, took the photo (and was our designated driver).
So, there are lots of fives going on in this scene.  Okay?

We couldn’t move around much because there was a wedding about to start outside on the lovely vineyard grounds,

and one stressed-out employee behind the tasting counter was rude beyond belief,
and the vineyard label is (in my opinion) incredibly unattractive,  
but none of that stopped us from having four tasty (and one not-at-all tasty) wines plus a whole lot of laughs.
Wishing everyone a tasty weekend filled with laughter!
 
                    

My Little Corner of the World

               

AGNES by Tony Cochran

I’m easily overwhelmed by the sheer amount of clean-up necessary,
in my kitchen cabinets and
underwear/sock drawer and
linen closet and
manuscript and 
flower beds and
storage room and . . .

Let’s face it, I’m freaked out by the mess we’ve made of the planet.

So.
I’m taking it a little bit at a time
and dealing with my personal messes.

 
I’ve cleaned up the kitchen and vacuumed the upstairs.
Later I’ll clean up my manuscript,
and then I might reach for the backhoe.
 
But maybe I should hold out for a bulldozer.
 
              

Forts R Us

I’ve been AWOL, I know, but am easing back into LJ-Land with the latest creation by Wildebeest & Friends:


I peeked inside this one when talking with Wildebeest this morning
and was surprised by the spaciousness.
When Wildebeest and Zebu leave home and it’s time to down-size, I just might live in a fort.

My Top 70 for Bob Dylan’s Birthday

Bob Dylan turned 70 years old today and in honor of his birthday, I’m sharing 70 Dylan-related memories:

1) I joined the Columbia Record Club when I was a kid and bought lots of early Dylan records for not much money (because he was a Columbia artist), eventually defaulted on my membership and then had a collection agency after me until they figured out I was a minor and they couldn’t touch me.

2) I kept a harmonica in my car to practice while stuck in L.A. rush hour traffic but never advanced beyond basic discordance.

3) When I was a kid, I took over the care of my younger brother’s gerbils and renamed them Frankie Lee and Judas Priest.

4) After having trash and beer thrown at me for singing and dancing during a Dylan concert in Orange County, CA (otherwise known as Behind the Orange Curtain), I vowed never to attend another concert in the OC, a promise I kept.

5) I once dreamed of ex-wife Sara Dylan and woke up really indignant about Bob treating her so poorly.

6) I used to work for a man who shared a rabbi with Bob Dylan, and contemplated staking out the temple for a sneak peek.

7) I had a class at CSU-Northridge with a young man who was friends with one of Dylan’s sons (Jakob?) and who used to hang out with the son and listen to Blonde on Blonde, an album my classmate described as “Okay.”

8) When I was a high school freshman, I gave a speech on Bob Dylan; the teacher was thrilled but the other kids could not have cared less.

9) The first time I ever saw Dylan in concert my seat was behind the stage but Dylan turned and played to us so it was a great experience.

10) My parents allowed me to miss a day of school to get those tickets.

11) Maybe because I’m not a fan of organized religion, I’ve never been offended by Dylan’s swings between Judaism and Christianity and back again.

12) I’ve logged a lot of miles on my treadmill running to Highway 61 Revisited (although “Ballad of a Thin Man” kinda takes the pep out of my step).

13) I listened to Street Legal the other night for old time’s sake but had to quit after a few songs because it made me miss best friend S (who loved the album) too much; I especially wished he was still alive so I could point out the album is highly overwrought.

14) At the last minute, I bought a single ticket to see Dylan at the L.A. Forum and got a pretty decent seat but after he played a couple songs, he said he wouldn’t continue until the seats in front were filled so I rushed the stage and spent the rest of the night a few feet from the stage.

15) I also went alone to see Dylan at the Filmore in Denver and made friends with some people who, for years afterward, invited me to their birthday parties.

16) I named my cat Isis.

17) I bought my copy of Desire at the JC Penney in Portage, Wisconsin, and took it back because the record skipped.

18) Literary agent Edward Necarsulmer IV is a huge Dylan fan and I used to think that meant we were destined to be agent and client, but I’ve since deduced that is not true.

19) Wildebeest loves nothing more than to disparage Bob and his rhyming ways.

20) When I was in high school, Doonesbury included a series of strips featuring Dylan and I taped those strips inside my locker door but was so eager to vacate the premises on the last day of school, I left them behind.

21) Zippy used to quietly pooh-pooh Dylan’s talent but now recognizes his channeling-from-beyond genius.

22) Let’s face it: Joan Baez has aged much more gracefully than Dylan.

23) I was sad on my birthday, November 25, 1976, because I knew Dylan was playing at The Band’s final concert at the Winterland, San Francisco, while I was in Pardeeville, Wisconsin, watching a blizzard out the window.

24) I later went to a matinee showing of Scorsese’s documentary of that concert (The Last Waltz) and smoked cigarettes in the nearly empty theater. I know!

25) Sometimes waiting for Dylan tickets was more fun than the actual concert (see #4), even when I burned my ankle on a motorcycle muffler getting a ride across the immense parking lot to the port-a-potty.

26) There are few more dull or predictable discussions than those focused on the quality of Dylan’s voice.

27) I think the Rolling Stone panel missed the boat by not putting more Planet Waves songs in its top 70 list.

28) I used to be in a critique group with Dylan’s lighting guy who went into instant panic, covering his ears and yelling, “I don’t want to know!” when I mentioned a friend with a bootleg tape.

29) I once spent about three hours trying to get through on a call-in show to ask Dylan who’s saying “Yes!” in these “Isis” lyrics:
“You gonna stay?”
“If you want me to.”
“Yes!”
(See, it’s not clear if it’s “If you want me to, yes!” or “Yes!” as in “I want you to stay.”)

30) It’s safe to say that over the years I’ve driven some people away with my Dylan fascination.

31) A former boyfriend didn’t believe I knew all the words to “Isis” but after I performed it for him, complete with gestures, he had a (short-lived) light of respect in his eyes.

32) Zebu had the chance to see Dylan at Red Rocks a few years back but didn’t have much fun because (1) there was a thick cloud of pot smoke in the crowd and (2) he couldn’t recognize any of the songs.

33) The first novel I wrote has an incredibly original storyline about a teenage girl who loves Dylan but is teased by friends and classmates for that love.

34) My critique-lighting-guy friend invited me to sit at the light board during a Dylan concert but I declined because it was soon after September 11 and I couldn’t face being in a crowded venue right then.

35) In 1982, my sister and I went to PEACE SUNDAY in the Rose Bowl to hear Dylan and Baez (among many) but the concert was sold out so we stood next to chain-link fence while guy inside licked his hand-stamp and pressed it on my hand so I could then lick and pass along stamp to my sister.

36) I’m one of two people I know who saw the looong and oh-so-confusing Renaldo and Clara (and the other person is the guy who went with me).

37) Zippy and I watched the Dylan flick, Hearts of Fire, which is one of the worst movies made. Ever.

38) However, trust me when I say Dylan’s pantry scene from the movie Pat Garrett and Billy the Kid in which “Alias” reads aloud the labels on canned vegetables is hysterical.

39) Early on in our relationship, Zippy said the soundtrack to Pat Garrett and Billy the Kid was his favorite Dylan album because it was mostly instrumentals (see #21).

40) I strongly disagree with Keith Richards’ statement about Dylan’s “Girl from the North Country” being better suited to a solo than the duet with Johnny Cash.

41) When I try to imitate Dylan I always end up sounding like Joan Baez imitating Dylan on her version of “Simple Twist of Fate” which means it’s really me doing Baez doing Dylan.

42) A long time ago I told a friend if Dylan ever did a commercial, I’d take all my Dylan albums into the street and destroy them but here I am post-Victoria’s Secret and Bob-knows-what-else, and my albums are intact.

43) I went to the record store the day Empire Burlesque was released to buy it and another customer commented on how refreshing it was to see someone so loyal to an artist, but in retrospect, I have to question that loyalty because the album has some definite clunkers.

44) I once called information to get Bob’s home phone number.

45) I never feel like I’m in the mood to listen to “The Time’s They Are A-Changin,’” but then I hear it and am blown away all over again.

46) Sometime in the last decade, Dylan was on the Grammy’s singing a song that everyone later ridiculed as being unintelligible but within a couple mumbles I identified it as “Masters of War.”

47) When I was a teen, Dylan was scheduled to be on Soundstage and I talked to my parents ahead of time about watching it when it came on late that night, but in a fit of absolute bullshit parenting, they didn’t let me.

48) My father-in-law named his dog “Dillon” after the Gunsmoke character but in my mind’s eye whenever I said his name, it was “Dylan.”

49) I was always of the opinion that music class ruined “Blowin’ in the Wind” for a lot of young people much the same way The Scarlet Letter was ruined by high school English classes until a friend told me “Blowin’ in the Wind” holds a special place in his heart due to learning all the words in Sunday School.

50) Way back when in Wisconsin, I listened to Dylan’s early song, “Highway 51” but, being the spatially-challenged person I am, didn’t make the connection with the Hwy 51 running past my hometown.

51) If not for Bob Dylan, I’m not sure I’d know Woody Guthrie’s work (or Arlo’s!), or Phil Ochs or Dave van Ronk.

52) I’m not usually a fan of “greatest hits” compilations but if not for Dylan’sGreatest Hits Vol 2, I wouldn’t know one of my all-time favorite Dylan songs “When I Paint My Masterpiece.”

53) It was hard times when I lived in a tiny North Hollywood apartment but I remember smiling in the dark as I listened to Bob’s laugh when he messed up the opening to “Bob Dylan’s 115th Dream.”

54) Wildebeest just stuck his head in the room to see what I’m working on and when I told him he said, “70? That’s a lot of memories. You really love Bob Dylan, I think Bob Dylan’s a goober.”

55) A friend and I went to the Dylan/Grateful Dead concert at Anaheim Stadium and I swear Jerry’s guitar solo on “All Along the Watchtower” was so incredible it flustered Bob into singing the same chorus twice (but I seem to be the only one who noticed).

56) I have another friend who won’t ever let me forget that on the day of a general admission Dylan concert at the Filmore in Denver, I “forced her out of the car on Colfax” because of road work and detours so she could get in line while I looked for a place to park, and then we ended up arriving at the line at the same time.

57) We were about halfway back on the floor during that show with the misfortune of standing behind a basketball team, but then “Cold Irons Bound” started and I danced and didn’t care about limited visibility.

58) When Wildebeest was a baby he’d calm when listening to Blood on the Tracks except for “Idiot Wind;” he really disliked that song.

59) Wildebeest and Zebu just told me something I can neither confirm nor deny: when they were little and would screw around at the dinner table, I’d get pissed off and send them downstairs while I cleaned up the kitchen, “Tombstone Blues” blasting (“I’m in the kitchen with the tombstone blues”).

60) All I can say in my defense is “It Takes a Lot to Laugh, It Takes a Train to Cry.”

61) Actress Jenna Elfman reportedly lost her virginity while listening to “Lay Lady Lay” but I can’t listen to Dylan while having sex because, for me, there’s no tuning him out; I can’t write while he’s playing, either.

62) Hard Rain is a phenomenal live album, and don’t even try talking to me about the distortion and poor sound quality.

63) If it weren’t for the Rolling Thunder Revue, I wouldn’t know about T-Bone Burnett and Mick Ronson and Ronee Blakley and Scarlet Rivera.

64) Come to think of it, I started reading Crawdaddy magazine in hopes of finding a mention of Dylan, and was introduced to all sorts of musicians along the way.

65) From the very start my attraction to Dylan had as much to do with his use of language as the music and while I never mastered the guitar or harmonica or singing, or anything even remotely musical, I consider him a huge influence.

66) I still haven’t landed in Publisher’s Marketplace but it’s cool Bob’s gotten deals for turning songs into picture books; however, it’ll be hard to take if he sells a middle-grade before me.

67) I can’t remember ever putting on a Bob Dylan record and deciding it wasn’t what I wanted to hear; no matter the mood, it’s always a good time for a little Dylan.

68) And with his catalog, a little Dylan can easily turn into a marathon listening session.

69) So many people were outraged when he went electric and, in their minds, turned his back on “the movement,” but Dylan’s Dylan no matter whether he’s singing about a miner or a clueless reporter or the exquisite pain of a breaking heart.

70) When I listen to Joan Baez sing about Dylan in “Diamonds and Rust,” I want to weep for her lost love but then “Winds of the Old Days” plays and I’m in awe of her graciousness:
“singer or savior, it was his to choose
which of us knows what was his to lose”

Friday Five: The Random Edition

                 

1)  I have a piece up on Commentarista.com today. HEAVY METAL MOUTH chronicles my experiences as 
a brace-face adult, and I hope you stop by to laugh at my expense.

2)  Today is graduation day at Red Rocks and our friend Brian is graduating. He’s actually three weeks 

younger than Wildebeest but started school at a younger age in California. We’re going to his party later where 
I’m sure I’ll get teary and embarrass him. It’s Brian’s turn today, Wildebeest graduates next year, Brian’s sister 
the year after, and then Zebu is the last of the gang. Time is whipping on by . . .
  
3)  Earlier this week I ran the neighborhood loop for the first time in a month or so, and am here to tell you:
keep up with your yoga practice! I haven’t been doing yoga nearly enough and really felt the difference in my
lungs. Who would’ve thought?
 
4)  I  just realized I don’t like this type of unrelated list for Friday Five because when I read a jumbled 
assortment on other blogs, I get overwhelmed thinking I need to comment on each and every item.  So if you’re
equally neurotic and starting to freak out, DON’T! It’s all good!
 
5)  Well, now it’d be kind of silly to add anything else, wouldn’t it? Let’s end with an assortment of produce:
 

                                                                                          image by morguefile.com

Have a colorful and varied weekend, friends!

Bob Dylan and Me

                 

Next week, Bob Dylan turns 70 years old.

When Bob turned 50, I bought a bottle of champagne and watched Don’t Look Back 
(after calling the Anchorage video store days ahead to put a hold on a copy only to find 

out from the baffled clerk there was no huge demand), and toasted Dylan’s health and continued genius.

 
This time around, Rolling Stone is throwing the party.
 
 
The current issue includes a list of his 70 greatest songs (as decided by a panel)
along with some commentary from various singer/songwriters.

It’s an interesting list, in part because the enormity of Dylan’s song catalog boggles the mind.
How to choose?

My mother texted me the other night (yes, she’s 81 and she texts!)
to tell me she was reading Rolling Stone and to ask which was my favorite song.

I said I couldn’t choose just one but that "Hurricane" was the song that caught my attention
when I was 13 years-old, and that I bought the 45 and then wrote out all the lyrics.
The song’s so long it was both Side A and Side B, and somewhere around here I have
those sheets of notebook paper with the hand-printed lyrics.
It was a long process and I remember sitting next to my record player, 
lifting the needle to replay parts so I’d catch every word.

"Pistol shots ring out in a barroom night . . ."

Years later when I lived in North Hollywood in a funky old house converted to a triplex,
my artist-downstairs-neighbor was working on a collage and invited me to make one, too.

I went up to my tiny apartment and gathered the Dylan scrapbook I’d created when younger.

Over the years, this collage has hung on various walls in the places I’ve lived,
and more than one person has looked at it and asked, "Who’s the big black dude?"

 
That’s Rubin "Hurricane" Carter, the boxer who was wrongfully accused of murder,
and the subject of "Hurricane."
I cut that photo of him from the sleeve for the 45.
 
Dylan brought a lot of attention to the case and many years later Rubin Carter 
was released from prison where he sat "like Buddha in a ten-foot cell."
 
"Hurricane" is just one of many, many awe-inspiring songs 
that happened to mark the the beginning of my fascination with Dylan.
The man from Hibbing, Minnesota, caught my ear with a song calling out for justice, 
and kept me listening all these years.
 
Even when I couldn’t understand what the hell he was saying.
                            

Guess Who

               

Nice disguise, but I’m afraid the tail gave you away.

                                                         © Tracy Abell 2011
               
Now maybe a pair of little sailor pants  . . .

               

Setting Goals and Reaching Them

                      

Just found out that Zebu made the junior varsity basketball team for summer league.


                                                                                    image from morguefile.com

The boy is a work horse.
Not naturally gifted, but an incredibly hard worker who went after what he wanted.

I could learn a lot from him.
           

I’ve Seen the Light!

                 

This is NOT me.


                                                                                     image from morguefile.com

The photo, however, represents how I feel right now.

Just one week ago I was a weepy little mess as I struggled to learn Scrivener.
Today I’m thrilled to announce I understand the basics of this writing software,

and that I’m looking ahead to a more streamlined, organized approach to writing novels.
 
I’m still a huge fan of carrying around a notebook, and that won’t change.
 
But.
 
 
I appreciate the words of encouragement and tips shared in my original post.
Thank you, friends!
 
                

Bucky Katt Does Robert Frost

               

GET FUZZY by Darby Conley

Doesn’t this seem like great fun?

For instance, how about "Bob Chilly’s" THE PASTURE?

I’m going out to clean the pasture spring;
I’ll only stop to rake the leaves away
(And wait to watch the water clear, I may):
I shan’t be gone long. — You come too.

Here’s my adaptation:
I’m leaving to wade back into Scrivener mode;
I won’t stop except to wipe tears from my cheeks
(And wait for my vision to de-blur, maybe):

If I’m not back soon, please come find me.
 
I welcome any and all adaptations in the comments section . . .
            

Art Blossoms

                 

Art is born of the observation and investigation of nature.
                                                      ~ Cicero


                                                                                                                                                                 © Tracy Abell 2011
      


My current project is cherry blossom-free, but the glorious natural world keeps me going.
In art and life.

Wishing everyone a week filled with Nature’s inspiration and rejuvenation.  

Friday Five: The Scrivener Edition

                 

In honor of massively computer-challenged Me learning how to use Scrivener for Windows

(writing software adored by oodles of writers), here are some glimpses into my journey:
 
                                                                                            image from morguefile.com
 
1) Yesterday I shed tears of frustration and pulled my hair. Literally.
 
2)  Today I teared up a tiny bit when faced with something I absolutely did not understand,
and then wiped away those tears and told myself "You might not even need to know that."
 
3)  My mantra: Even if I master only a tiny percentage of what this program can do, 
that tiny percentage will be huge in comparison to what I knew about Scrivener last week.
 
4)  The thought of writing with a "corkboard" and "index cards" has kept me going, and sure enough,
those are the features I’m "mastering" and will be able to use right from the start.
 
5)  I’m sure it doesn’t count for anything but I feel better prepared to learn this software
having read Melville’s Bartleby, the Scrivener in my sophomore English class.
 
Anyone else out there have an emotion-laden time learning this software?
(For those who mastered it without a problem, it’s probably best to keep that to yourself.)
 
                       

Slow Down, Little Missy

                 

Yesterday I wrote and rewrote
the opening pages to my new project
and by the time I went to bed,
felt pretty good about those pages.

Today I picked up where I left off
but almost immediately ran into trouble.
After a few moments of panic
and several choruses of
"Why did I ever think I could write this story?!," 
I remembered something.

My notebook.

It’s there to help me sort out the characterization

and sticky plot issues 
that always, always raise their knotty little heads
as I write a first draft.
 
So now I’ve taken my foot off the gas pedal
and am investing a little more time 
in the Hows and Whys of my story.

                                                                                                               image from morguefile.com
 
 
 
Today I refuse to be in a rush.
 
            

Singing My Own Song

                  

A bird does not sing because it has an answer. It sings because it has a song.
                                                                                             ~ Chinese Proverb


                                                                                                              image from morguefile.com

There are so many things we could learn from the birds.
If only we cared to listen.

                 

Stop and Smell the Tulips

                

Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.
                                                                                       ~ Confucius

                                                                                                                                          © Tracy Abell 2011

Thankful Thursday: The Backhanded Edition

                 

I’m thankful that Wildebeest’s borrowed iPod (his is MIA) provided us with a different
get-ready-for-school soundtrack this morning : Michael Jackson (rather than the usual death metal or rap.)

I’m thankful I was able to make an appointment for Zebu to see the pediatric orthopedist this afternoon
to examine his knee that popped during track practice yesterday.

I’m thankful I own a Neti pot and can clear my nasal passages that are congested due to a lousy head cold.

 

I’m thankful I have the time and space to express these thoughts.
Really. I am.
Thankful.
           
              

Unlocking the Story

            

One night last August as I was falling asleep,
a story idea popped into my head.
I turned on the light and jotted it down.
The next day I wrote a couple pages of notes 
and set it aside to continue working on another project.

The other night the same thing happened as I fell asleep;
the same story idea came into my head, whispering a little louder.
But this time as I turned on the lights to write more notes,

my pulse quickened and I realized this was the story for me.
 
In a very un-Tracy like fashion, I’ve stopped working on my other project
and am now taking lots of notes on this idea that won’t let me go.
An idea that’s nothing like anything I’ve written before.
A story that intimidates me just a little bit.
 
                                                                                 image from morguefile.com 
 
Once I unlock the story, I’ll begin to put it down on paper.    
 
                

Go Well, Be Well

                 

This one is for Zippy and  !!!

(Agnes is dressed as Wellness Woman, dispensing advice on healthy living . . .)

AGNES by Tony Cochran

Such is the danger of three-chord songs.

             

Seeking Out the Unremarked

        

 Discovery consists of seeing what everybody has seen and thinking what nobody has thought.

                                     Albert Szent-Gyorgyi


                                                                                                                            © Tracy Abell 2011       

Szent-Gyorgyi was a physiologist credited with discovering Vitamin C,

but this quotation gets to the heart of what it means to be a writer, too.
In fact, when reading it I immediately thought of something Marilynne Robinson told me (paraphrased):
 
Most experiences are unremarked.  The tendency in writing is to focus on the already evaluated
and already delineated. Instead, as a writer, aspire to bring to the forefront the unobserved.
 
Every story has already been told; it’s the telling that makes each different.
 
                

On Running and Writing

                 

Zebu and Wildebeest are distance runners on the track team.

They have a teammate who started the season training with the sprinters.
One evening Zebu told me this kid (I’ll call him Whiz), accidentally missed the turnoff
for the sprinters during that day’s practice and instead ran the distance practice (4-5 miles).
With awe in his voice, Zebu said, "He kept up the whole way."

A couple weeks ago, the coach needed to fill some slots because of injuries and
put Whiz into an 800 meter race (two laps around the track which equals one half-mile).
Whiz won his heat.

 

A few days later, Whiz was on the 4 X 800 relay (each runner does two laps and

then passes a baton to the next runner on team).
The boy passing the baton to Whiz accidentally stepped on the back of Whiz’s shoe and 
Whiz spent valuable seconds trying to get the shoe back on his foot before kicking it off
and running his two laps with one shoe on and one shoe off.
Whiz’s time in that race beat Zebu’s best time.
 
This past weekend, Whiz ran his first 1600 meter race (four laps which equals one mile).
He ran it in 5:11, beating Zebu and Wildebeest’s best times.
 
Zebu is proud of Whiz, a fellow freshman and super nice kid, 
but is also flabbergasted by his ability to run so fast without all the miles
Zebu and Wildebeest have logged in their training.
 
I can relate.
Not just in my own running, but in my writing life, too.
 
I told Zebu that there are Naturals and there are Work Horses
(and, of course, Naturals who work very, very hard to get even better). 
 
I told him about the hardworking top-runner on my high school cross country team
who was knocked from her number-one spot by a freshman girl who just showed up
and blew everyone else away.
 
Then I said, "It’s a lot like the journey to publication. There are some people who write 
the perfect book at the perfect time, and their careers take off. Then there are those
who have to work hard for a long, long time to get there. I’m one of those work horses."
 
His silence told me maybe I shouldn’t have put it in those terms. 
Zebu’s had an up-close and sometimes painful window into my quest for publication,
and my unpublished status probably makes me a not-so-good poster child for Work Horses.
 
It’s true.
I’ve worked long and I’ve worked hard, and publication still hasn’t happened for me.
But whenever I wonder whether it’s time to let go of the dream, 
I think about my kids witnessing my efforts over the years.
And while I know hard work is no guarantee of success, 
I also know I don’t want them to think of me as The Work Horse Who Never Reached Her Goal.
 
So I guess that means, at least for the time being, I’ll keep doing what it takes.
I’ll be the Work Horse with one shoe on and one shoe off,
running hard for that finish line.
 
              

Keep Your Pants On!

       

AGNES by Tony Cochran

Which just goes to show writers cannot possibly appeal to every demographic.
Stories involving little sailor pants are a genre unto themselves.