In case anyone wonders where I am today,
I’m hunkered down in the revision cave.
Thank you for the kind words of support yesterday.
I made progress and feel good about it even though I feel a bit like this. . .
© 2010 Tracy Abell
(I don’t, however, have the catfish-like facial hair and anyone who says different is lying).
I meet with Claudia on Thursday to go over revisions.
You may remember my glee at the progress I was making.
At that point in time, I was confident I’d fly through the rest of the revisions.
I told Claudia we were going to celebrate Earth Day together by reviewing all remaining chapters.
As in, every single chapter through The End!
Well, soon after shooting off my mouth I slammed right into a Wall of Doubt.
There is no way I’ll have the revisions finished by the day after tomorrow.
There’s only thing left to do: Get as much done as possible and hope Claudia isn’t overly disappointed.
Two American Kestrels sitting on a wire above my yard.
How lucky am I?
© 2010 Tracy Abell
The male is on the left and the female on the right.
Care to read their body language and write a little script?
In a little while, a friend is coming over to help me paint.
We’re going to paint bits of walls and cabinets in an
attempt to choose the right colors to de-Frankenstein my kitchen.
You see, my cabinets are now a shade of green which is tolerable in natural light
but under artificial light, is like a bad acid trip.
We have a slew of samples to choose for walls (I have one "accent" wall which is an affront to humanity)
but also these five shades of gray-black (and yes, I realize they look green and brown) for the cabinets.
Black cabinets?
Yes, black cabinets.
An interior designer floated the idea and we’re going to give it a whirl.
Five whirls, to be precise.
Have a great weekend and may you all love your kitchens just as they are!
"The great thing about being a beginner [birdwatcher] is that it doesn’t
take much to please you. And if you have any sense, you will keep that."
—-Simon Barnes from HOW TO BE A BAD BIRDWATCHER
© 2010 Tracy Abell
Okay, here’s what it says at the Cornell Lab of Ornithology:
Compared with males, females have paler heads that contrast less with the gray back.
So would you say the American Robin in my photo is male? Or female?
I’m always grateful for this kind and generous community.
Today, however, I am exceedingly grateful.
And I offer this dapper little Western Scrub-Jay as a token of my gratitude.
© 2010 Tracy Abell
I’m about 110 pages into my revision,
and am officially in love with this story.
Often when writers love their projects,
they go into some euphoric state in which they crank out words and revise like mad.
I’m not that kind of writer.
For the past week or so, I’ve been fine-tuning a couple chapters
in order to strike the perfect emotional balance.
These chapters are pivotal and are very different from the original,
so I’m charting new territory here.
I told Zippy it’s as if I’m sneaking up on my story,
getting one part "just right," and then tiptoeing up to the next moment
that needs to be just right.
Lots of times I stop at the point of decision, and do something else.
Nap, work on a crossword puzzle, watch birds. Watch clouds.
That break gives my middle mind a chance to do its thing,
so that when I get back to it, I know how to strike the emotional balance.
Revision truly is a thing of beauty.
(Crocus from my front yard) © 2010 Tracy Abell
You want to know a really fun way to avoid your revisions?
Play with the exposure settings on your photo software!
© 2010 Tracy Abell
Come on, fellow procrastinators, you know you want to…
I’ve written about the phenomenon of Northern Flickers pounding their beaks on my rain gutters.
I’ve even publicly begged their mercy since that rat-a-tat-tat makes me jump out of my proverbial skin.
Especially the metallic rat-a-tat-tat of beak on aluminum.
But the flickers ignore my feelings and persist in their rhythmic assault on my nervous system.
So I chase them away, questioning their sanity and intelligence.
There was one brief moment when I considered letting my enormous cat loose on the roof
(totally Zippy’s idea), but I refrained.
Then the other day I received an email from my friends at Wild Birds Unlimited.
And guess what?
Northern Flickers don’t pound on metal surfaces because they’re nuts.
Northern Flickers pound on those surfaces because they’re looking for love!
At least, that’s how the males go about it.
They create those loud sounds to let the females know they’re available, and to drive away other males.
(On the other hand, a slow, methodical tapping is bad news because they’re probably making a nesting hole in your wood siding).
© 2010 Tracy Abell
Anyway, that little piece of information has made a huge difference in how I handle those sudden bursts of noise.
I still don’t like it but whenever I hear it, I imagine this dude (except an actual male since I just realized this is a female!) using his beautiful, sturdy beak to find some companionship.
Call me insane, but I think that’s kind of romantic.
This morning I took Wildebeest and Zebu to the airport
and left them at the curb.
They wanted to navigate DIA on their own as they head
to Florida to visit their grandma (my mother) for spring break.
They should be landing in another twenty minutes or so.
When this photo was taken in southern Colorado on spring break in 2000,
I don’t think I could even imagine the day when they’d travel alone.
They will definitely experience higher temps in Florida than we had in 2000,
and I’m almost positive Wildebeest will be in a better frame of mind.
1) One of the very best ways to strengthen a relationship is to share some laughter. And maybe a beer or two.
2) You should floss only the teeth you want to keep.
3) In order to maintain yoga focus, it’s best to first intervene with the flicker that’s drumming his sturdy beak against the aluminum rain gutter.
4) The best kind of pen to write with is the one you actually pick up and use.
5) I know you are, but what am I?
Wishing everyone a glorious weekend filled with thoughts that come from the deeper end of the pool than these!
© 2010 Tracy Abell
As I searched for photos to use in this week’s birthday tribute to my big brother,
I came across all sorts of other fun childhood photos.
Exhibit A:
So, today I am thankful for:
My little brother, Stephen,
who was a good sport and not only played dress-up with me
but also mugged for the camera
and made me laugh,
and, perhaps most importantly,
helped me refine my daring fashion sense.
Just over 24 hours ago I was laughing about the obviously silly weather forecast.
Well, not only did we get a foot of snow,
we got another six inches or so for good measure.
And it’s HEAVY.
(Photo by Wildebeest)
Guess someone didn’t get the memo about it being spring.
Sheesh.
Today is my brother’s 50th birthday.
He was my best friend when we were little.
We sledded together, whooping each time we went over one of our jumps and got air.
We crawled on our bellies in the woods, wearing ammo pouches sewn by our sister and clutching guns made of scrap wood.
We swam in the lake for hours at a time, bouncing on a tractor inner tube and playing tag along the shore.
We filled the horse trough with cold spring water and used his stopwatch to see who could sit submerged the longest.
We paddled his canoe along the shoreline and encountered the biggest, scariest carp in the history of the world.
We slept outside in the tent (until the screech owl started screeching).
I had a fearlessness back then,
and I definitely reveled in the moment.
Due in large part to my brother.
Thanks for always pushing me to jump and climb higher and reach farther, Peter.
I cherish our memories, and you.
Wishing you a coming year filled with joy and love and loads of laughter.
Happy birthday, big brother.
Anyone else struggling with the time change this morning?
Thank you for the Squirrel Love virtual gift
I received this morning.
I do love squirrels and enjoy squirrel antics.
However, anonymous gifts make me nervous
and I’d really like to know who I’m thanking.
© 2010 Tracy Abell
So ‘fess up, okay?
Yo, Flicker.
I get that you have a really pointy beak
and that you feel an incredible urge to utilize it.
But could you maybe focus your energy on this suet?
Or on this telephone pole that seems made-to-order for head-banging?
Just not here, okay?
Thanks so much for your understanding.
I’m a bit sad that most photos I took while in Florida
didn’t turn out too well because of my lens limitation.
But the images I captured are enough to revive memories.
They help me remember the laughter and oohs-and-ahhs
I shared with my sister, brother, and nephew.
As I look at this Great Blue Heron taking flight,
I’m not only grateful for the gift of Kapok Park and time spent with family
but am also inspired to get back to my CLOSE TO HOME revisions.
© 2010 Tracy Abell
I’m going to flap my wings and soar into literary greatness.
Or something like that.
Am back from Florida trip.
Was at mother’s along with three siblings and one nephew.
We had many nice moments including laughter and teamwork
as we sorted through years of stuff.
But we also experienced some nastiness and angst.
At some point during the weekend
my sister’s husband came upon this painting at MOMA,
FAMILY PICTURE by Max Beckmann,
and forwarded it to my sister.
He said it reminded him of us:
It’s true that the painting has the exact number of family members.
But the trouble is,
my siblings and I all laid claim
to the one member leaning on a hand.
Staring into the flames.
This is a bit random, I know.
But Zippy brought home this coupon book several weeks ago.
And it’s now on my refrigerator
because I love this little boy.
His essence comes through his eyes and smile,
and I feel a lightness inside me every time I look at him.
I just wanted to share.
As I revise CLOSE TO HOME with Claudia’s help,
I’m grateful for her insights and encouragement,
But I’ve realized something else this mentor program gives me:
deadlines.
I’ve mentioned my aversion to adding new scenes.
My natural inclination in these situations is to
delay,
dawdle,
and defer.
I can be a world-class procrastinator.
But procrastination isn’t a great game plan for the mentor program.
I’m now accountable to Claudia Mills.
I’m not saying Claudia gives off this vibe:
© 2010 Tracy Abell
However, I did make an agreement with her to turn in a certain number
of chapters by this Wednesday.
And I don’t want to disappoint her.
Or ruffle her feathers.
She’s kind
but she’s also determined.
It’s best to honor our agreement.
© 2010 Tracy Abell
Okay, maybe not quite.
But close.
Have a great weekend, and run the other way if you see Boris and Natasha!
May your weekend hold much good stuff,
and go easy on the saliva.
© 2010 Tracy Abell
Wasn’t on task as much as I would’ve liked yesterday.
Today will be different.
The Grackle will make sure of that.
© 2010 Tracy Abell
If you get stuck, feel free to stop by again for your own dose of Grackle Motivation . . .
Last week I promised to share some insights
from my mentor, Claudia Mills.
Claudia is helping me revise a middle-grade novel
about two girls, one homeless and the other, not.
The first time I met with Claudia, she praised my
"wonderful sense of the shifting terrain of interpersonal
dynamics and psychological nuance."
But, it turns out my sensitivity and attunement to my characters
is also the main stumbling block in my story.
Claudia went on to write in her comments:
"It’s that you are SO good at psychological nuance that I sometimes
felt as if I were watching a ping-pong match . . . feelings were shifting
back and forth with such frequency that I lost sense of where
we were in the overall shape of the story."
She was absolutely right.
And I have a feeling some of my earlier readers had that same issue
(whether or not they were able to articulate it that way).
So that’s what I worked on in my opening chapters
(plus some other issues regarding initial conflict).
I focused on the psychological dynamics in each scene,
watching for the ping-pong effect.
I wanted to build tension in each of my story’s relationships.
I worked and worked.
Last week I met with Claudia to discuss the revisions.
While I nailed the revisions of the initial conflicts,
it turns out I’d written some more emotional ping-pong.
I was frustrated with myself,
and as we talked, I wondered if I’d ever fully grasp what she was saying.
I mean, I’m a hyper-sensitive person and I feel lots of emotions all the time;
I wasn’t sure if I could write characters any other way.
And then Claudia said this:
Your task is to give yourself room to build.
Cue the epiphany music!
I cannot write scenes in which characters’ feelings
jump all over the spectrum from one moment to the next.
Even though they might feel that way inside,
I can only allow their emotions to move incrementally within each scene
so that there’s somewhere for them to go as the story progresses.
For example, if I write a character expressing full-blown anger
toward another character in the opening chapters,
there’s not a lot of room to maneuver the emotions of their relationship.
I need room to build.
It’s as simple as that.
(This was taken yesterday afternoon and somehow the imagery feels right for this post). © 2010 Tracy Abell
Tracy Abell 