AGNES by Tony Cochran
I’ve just hired Agnes and her Winter Consolation Service,
and have high hopes for an improved outlook within a month’s time:
image from morguefile.com
Take that, February!
AGNES by Tony Cochran
Now you know how I’m spending the day.
AGNES by Tony Cochran
No resolutions = No angst and indecision.
I’m genius!
AGNES by Tony Cochran
Here’s to our teeth staying in our heads, inventive jewelry, and delicious coffee!
AGNES by Tony Cochran
I can’t help thinking of the little spat I got in with the resident evangelist at the meal on Monday.
She thinks it’s her right to tell people they’ll go to hell unless they accept her religious dogma,
and got testy with me when I told her to knock it off.
Wonder how her teeth feel today?
AGNES by Tony Cochran
This reminds me of getting my first chapter work-shopped
by Marilynne Robinson and the rest of the summer session crew.
I threw an awful lot into those opening pages, and after listening
to the same refrain from most everyone present ("too much, too soon"),
I broke workshop protocol and blurted: "I get it, it’s a shit storm."
AGNES by Tony Cochran
This is where Agnes and I part ways;
I’m most definitely shooting for good.
AGNES by Tony Cochran
It’s scary warm here,
and winter feels very far-off.
Can’t believe I’m saying this:
We need snow (although I’d settle for rain).
Anything would be better than this rotting corpse of fall.
Ah, yes, holiday customs . . .
AGNES by Tony Cochran
I’d love to hear your Thanksgiving traditions.
I’ll go first:
My in-laws spend much time setting table and preparing food,
but once they sit down, they practically inhale the meal.
As one horrified guest exclaimed: "You’re a pack of wolves!"
(*waves to Zippy*)
Okay, not as interesting as the Cowboy Copas,
and probably not so much tradition as bad habit,
but you get the idea.
So spill, people!
AGNES by Tony Cochran
Man, can I relate.
I do not, however list my worries.
There’s no need;
they play in a loop at three in the morning.
AGNES by Tony Cochran
When I was younger and colossally more naive,
I called Information in hopes of getting Bob’s number in Malibu.
Clearly, my efforts would’ve been better spent on
forging a friendship with Agnes.
AGNES by Tony Cochran
I’m just so excited to have Agnes and Dylan together,
I’ll forgive the complaining, hopelessly nasal comment.
After all, she did acknowledge his genius.
And there really is no arguing with the nasal.
Last Friday I sent BIRD BRAIN to the four generous souls who
offered to read and critique my manuscript.
It’s much, much too soon to expect responses, but that hasn’t stopped
my mind from turning into a writhing nest of worries and fears.
AGNES by Tony Cochran
Maybe I’ll just get it over with and go put underpants on my feet.
Isn’t she quaint?
AGNES by Tony Cochran
AGNES by Tony Cochran
Seeing as I live in a house full of boys,
I think it’s fair I post the girl perspective:
AGNES by Tony Cochran
I don’t know about dead chickens,
but I’d definitely say my snorts of boy
either clear my head or knock me out.
AGNES by Tony Cochran
Ah, the joys of summer.
And friendships.
Am dashing off in a few minutes for a full day of basketball.
Zebu’s in a tournament and so I’m packing up the laptop
and hitting the bleachers.
Here’s some Agnes outlook to get you through the day:
AGNES by Tony Cochran
Let’s hope Grandma went easy on the pine nuts.
AGNES by Tony Cochran
I’m doing WAY better than Agnes;
No bee stings for me!
AGNES by Tony Cochran
I don’t even want to know what Trout would say about my life.
Seeing as even though it’s April 26 I woke to snow on the ground,
this seemed appropriate.
AGNES by Tony Cochran
Anguished screams, indeed.
NO MORE SNOW, OKAY?!
All those who can relate to this, raise your hand . . .
AGNES by Tony Cochran
A little reminder to me and anyone else who spends too much time
worrying that something said or written might have been misconstrued:
AGNES by Tony Cochran
Trout does make an excellent point.
And I’m going to try hard to remember this.
Seeing as the forecast is calling for a foot of snow,
and seeing as there’s lots of blue sky and sunshine outside,
this strip feels apt.
AGNES by Tony Cochran
I guess these wildly fluctuating weather forecasts are just another sign of spring.
Tracy Abell 