Some Updates

/ Tracy Abell / 8 Comments

        

A little over two weeks ago I shared the sad tale of my old juniper tree,
and today finally summoned the courage to call an arborist.  
He just left after telling me (1) the tree will survive and (2) there's nothing to be done
for another year or so except (3) to pray for forgiveness. I thought he meant the tree
forgiving me but realized he meant me forgiving  my neighbor.

I feel somewhat better although still cannot look at that old tree without flinching.
And tearing up.

In regards to my stuckness on my work-in-progress, this past weekend I printed out
everything I'd written so far (30k words!) and read it in one sitting.  After taking some notes,
I knew I needed to go back and rework some stuff before moving ahead. I'm struggling
with the rewrites but am no longer panicked that fixing stuff will slow my momentum
to the point that I'll never finish the draft.

I will finish this draft!  Hear, universe?

As for my web site, nothing's happening there. I still don't know how to proceed.
I guess two out of three ain't bad.

Now, here's a gratuitous squirrel shot:                                                                                                                                               Massively oversized image by Tracy Abell                                      

Friday Five: The Befuddled Edition

/ Tracy Abell / 10 Comments

              

 


                                                                         image from morguefile.com

1)  I haven't written my 1000-words/day for the last two days, in part because
I can't decide whether to forge ahead OR go back and iron out some major plot
stuff I've since figured out.

2)   I've been working on a new WordPress site but have hit a major wall in terms
of what my limited computer skills can achieve, and am not sure how to proceed:
hire a web designer/installer to finish up the job OR muddle through as best I can
OR pretend none of it is happening and let it all wither away in cyberspace.

3)  I'm not sure why this Friday Five is the Befuddled Edition when numbers one and two 
seem less Befuddled than Indecisive.

4)  Wait! I've got befuddlement for you: On the first day of school, one of Zebu's teachers
asked students to share a little about themselves, and when no one else volunteered to
go first Zebu did, and proceeded to offer a lengthy explanation of the underwater basketweaving
club he founded at the school. Because the teacher asked questions along the way, Zebu
continued to spin his tale, thinking she was appreciating his silliness. Turns out she went home
and told her husband all about the amazing student who took the initiative to create
an underwater basketweaving club at school, to which her husband said "It's a joke." She told
me about it last night at Back to School Night. I kid you not.

5)  About this time every year I start wondering why I've agreed to be the facilities coordinator
for the local fall SCBWI conference. Okay, that's probably more Grouchy than Befuddled.

Wishing everyone clear, concise thoughts and actions today and throughout the weekend!

                

Saturday Six: The Farewell to Summer Vacation Edition

/ Tracy Abell / 3 Comments

   

1) This is the last weekend before school starts
2) so Wildebeest and Zebu are cramming as much as they can
into these final days of freedom
3) while I try to adjust to the fact I now have a high school senior and sophomore
4) and the fact that I'm no spring chicken and pretty soon will be an even older chicken
left alone in the roost with Zippy
5) which actually doesn't frighten me the way it seems to freak out some people I know
6) because I've always had my own thing going on independent of my kids but, still,
a senior and a sophomore? Really? Me?

                                                                                                                           photo by Zippy

(As an aside, may I mention how frustrating it is to post on LiveJournal these days? Wonky spacing, etc.)

                 

Word Count

/ Tracy Abell / 8 Comments

                   

I actually have no idea what my word count is right now
because I'm writing in chapter chunks and don't really care
about total word count.

All I know is I'm back in the 1000-words-per-day saddle
and it's the best thing happening for me these days.

I'm a little past the halfway point in this first draft
and I'm going to push on through to the end.
I hope to finish before our fall conference in a month
because then I'll show up there feeling like a champ.

You heard it here first, folks: Tracy is going to feel like a champ.

                                                                          image from morguefile.com
(For those pondering the significance of this image:
I went to morguefile.com and put "champ" into the search engine,
hoping I'd get the image of a boxer such as Muhammad Ali.
Nope. Only boxer dogs)

                           

It’s Monday Mourning

/ Tracy Abell / 21 Comments

              

My heart hurts.

I’m not even sure where to begin with this story
that involves an eccentric old juniper tree and a neighbor.

Short story: neighbor didn’t like eccentric juniper tree
that grew behind my fence in a Dr. Seuss-like fashion,
and over the years advocated for cutting it down because
the not-conventionally-attractive tree interfered with her view.

I defended the tree on the grounds it partially blocked my
view of the enormous new house down the hill but also
stated that I liked the tree because it had character.

Neighbor continued to advocate for removal and last year
I begrudgingly said she could cut off the very top five feet or
so of the droopy, swamp creature-esque tree.  Neighbor 
did nothing until one night this past week when we had another 
conversation about the tree. I repeated that I liked the tree because it had
character and because it blocked the house below, but that she could top it off.

I’m sure you’ve guessed what happened.
On Saturday afternoon, while I was home and completely unaware,
my neighbor came into my yard, went behind the fence and butchered the tree
so that it now just reaches above the fence.  

As soon as I walk onto my patio and face downhill, I see the scarred remains jutting over
the fence. Behind it I see the enormous house down below.  Then I close my eyes
and see the off-center, funky old juniper that used to provide habitat for birds and squirrels.

I’m crying as I write this.

I feel as if I let down that tree, that I should not have made any assumptions
about how it would be treated by my neighbor.
I wish I could rewind the tape and handle the whole situation differently.

Yesterday while I was writing a letter to my neighbor about the hurt and anger I felt,
Zippy discovered a card from her in our front door.

Neighbor’s card said a tree was being planted in a National Forest in my honor
and also that she’d plant another tree behind the fence if I wished.
She apologized and said she’d never do that again.

My anger is mostly gone but I cannot shake the sadness.
I’m not sure how to move forward.
It feels disrespectful to leave the tree as is but I don’t know if I can cut it down.
Yesterday morning when I stood next to it, crying, a bird flew from the lower branches.

This whole situation has affected my health and I can’t see how it’s ever going to get easier.
Whenever I face that direction I’ll either see where the tree used to be or its mangled remains.
Neither feels like a good choice.

              

How’s It Going?

/ Tracy Abell / 8 Comments

              

I’ve been neglecting LJ-land so Zoey and I are popping in to see what’s shakin’.

If nothing exciting’s happening make something up in the comments, okay?

                

Westen on Obama

/ Tracy Abell / 2 Comments

      

If you read only one op-ed piece in the next week, read 
What Happened to Obama? by Drew Westen

Here’s a taste:
When Barack Obama rose to the lectern on Inauguration Day, the nation was in tatters. Americans were scared and angry. The economy was spinning in reverse. Three-quarters of a million people lost their jobs that month. Many had lost their homes, and with them the only nest eggs they had. Even the usually impervious upper middle class had seen a decade of stagnant or declining investment, with the stock market dropping in value with no end in sight. Hope was as scarce as credit.

In that context, Americans needed their president to tell them a story that made sense of what they had just been through, what caused it, and how it was going to end. They needed to hear that he understood what they were feeling, that he would track down those responsible for their pain and suffering, and that he would restore order and safety.

Yeah, we all know what story he chose to tell that day and in the two-and-a-half years since.

            

If You Build It, You Will Sleep

/ Tracy Abell / 24 Comments

                      

Last week we went to Westcliffe where my mother has a small cabin.
A few people sleep outside on the deck but most everyone sleeps in tents.

 

Zippy and I’ve pitched our tent in the same place for years,
a slightly sloped, rocky spot beneath some pine trees.
I don’t get very good sleep while there and after a few nights of that, I’m exhausted.

So, this year we (um, I) decided we should have tent platforms.

Via Craigslist, I found enough secondhand Trex decking for two 10′ x 12′ platforms
and in early July we loaded that and a bunch of other lumber into a 16′ rental truck and took it down.
 
Here’s where we built the first platform (for Zebu and Wildebeest) last week:
 
Here are Zippy and Zebu working hard to build a level frame (Wildebeest was off chasing a gorilla) :
 
Zippy and Zebu are math-heads, and they had a grand time measuring and strategizing 
while I served as beast of burden and moved lumber and tools as needed.
 
They made great progress that first day but we had to pause while it stormed:
 
When we finished, the boys had what turned out to be The Best Morning Spot on the property . . . 
shade until ten in the a.m., baby!

 
We built Zippy’s and my platform after that (note the 9 on the headboard; Zebu and I drove into
town for drill bits and when he saw the house numbers on display, insisted we get some. He
and Wildebeest are number 4 while I opted for "number nine, number nine" in honor of The Beatles):
 
And now Zippy and I have this glorious view of the Sangre de Cristo Mountains:
 
But even better, we sleep well.
 

Off to the Mountains

/ Tracy Abell / 8 Comments

      

Just wanted to say I’ll be scarce around these parts for the remainder of the week
as I’ll be in the wilds without internet access or cell phone service.

Send up a flare if you need to get in touch.

In the meanwhile, Agnes is facing her fear of the high dive . . .

AGNES by Tony Cochran

    

I can only hope I’ll have Agnes’s grace and presence of mind 

should I ever find myself dangling above a pool.

 
                

Name Those Phobias!

/ Tracy Abell / 2 Comments

              

AGNES by Tony Cochran

Okay, I’m hard-pressed to come up with a more original phobia than these,
but I will admit to being seriously creeped out whenever I think back to the video
I saw of a male frog giving birth through the skin on his back.
Not even a spork could make that more scary for me.

How about you?
Got PHOBIAS?

                

Friday Five: The Losing My Memory Edition

/ Tracy Abell / 9 Comments

                  

1)  For several years I’ve had to walk out of rooms and back into them
in order to remember why I walked in there in the first place. 
(A bothersome turn of events but not too scary, memory-wise.)

2)  More and more frequently, I feel as if I’m turn turning into my mother

who used to call out each of her five kids’ names before hitting on the right one.
(A somewhat humorous lapse in mental faculties that feels a bit scarier whenever 
I accidentally call my kid or husband by my dog or cat’s names.)
 
3)  A couple months ago, I drew a total and complete blank on a friend’s name 
for about five minutes.
(That memory void freaked me out, and freaked out Wildebeest even more 
when I confessed it to him.)
 
4)  Earlier this week, I was writing a check (something I don’t do all that regularly but
have done for thirty years), and temporarily forgot how to write out the cents part of the amount.
I really and truly could not remember how to do it.
(Ack!  That is all I can say about this episode.)
 
5)  I was thinking all these things were signs of aging and/or early onset dementia but then
I read Agnes today and realized the same happens to the very young:
 
AGNES by Tony Cochran
 
Have a great weekend, everyone!
May you create wonderful memories that stay with you forever and ever.
 
              

Missing Mr. Vonnegut

/ Tracy Abell / 2 Comments

                 

"Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It’s hot in the summer and cold in the winter.
It’s round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you’ve got a hundred years here.
There’s only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you’ve got to be kind."
                                                                                       
                                                      — Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. (God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater)


                                                                                                                   image from morguefiles.com
                                    

                        

Friday Five: The Street Running Edition

/ Tracy Abell / 8 Comments

                 

1)  The sun is shining and the sky is blue, blue, blue 

but as a result of the excessive number of thunderstorms and downpours this week

2) the trails are too wet and messy for running which makes me sad, sad, sad
so I ran back and forth on the gravel portion just to get my bunny, meadowlark, wildflower fix

3) before heading back onto the neighborhood streets where I ran, ran, ran

up and down streets past parked cars and moving cars and boring old suburban houses
 
4) checking my watch every few minutes because I needed to run, run, run
for forty minutes before I’d let myself stop for the day
 
5) and by the time I reached my goal I remembered street running isn’t all that bad, bad, bad
because there aren’t any rocks or knapweed or holes to trip you up.
 
Still.
I’m hoping the trails dry out soon so I can get back out there where my heart sings, sings, sings.   
 
Wishing everyone a joyful weekend!
 
          

Adele and Her Fan Base

/ Tracy Abell / 18 Comments

                

I’m not one to embrace what’s hot-hot-hot,
but do admit to loving Adele’s music.

And if I’m to believe what I’ve read in various places
I’m the typical fan.
Which is to say, I’m female.
Probably older than the average female fan but, still.  Female.
Conventional wisdom says Adele’s fan-base is nearly 100% women. 

This afternoon I chauffeured three fifteen-year-old boys
who were playing various rap songs from their iPods on the car stereo.

I’ve had Adele’s 21 in my car for the past couple months and 
jokingly whispered to Zebu, "Guess this means no Adele, huh?"
 
Moments later, "Rolling in the Deep" was playing (from one of the boy’s iPod!) 
and the boys were singing along.
Not only did they sing that song, one of the boys announced that his favorite Adele song is
"Someone Like You," arguably the most heart-wrenching song on an album filled with heartbreak.
 
We preceded to listen to that song, too,
and there was some discussion of the lyrics’ meaning.
Meaningful discussion.
 
Lest I get too carried away with all this, I should remember that after getting out of the car 
they most likely passed gas then made jokes about erections and/or breasts.
 
                

Today’s Word: Soggy

/ Tracy Abell / 21 Comments

               

Someone left the phone book out in the rain . . . 


                                                                                    image from morguefiles.com
     

Yo.  
Enough with the rain, already!

                

Solace in Bloom

/ Tracy Abell / 9 Comments




       


Flowers seem intended for the solace of ordinary humanity.  
                                                                                 ~John Ruskin

 

                                                            © Tracy Abell 2011

Wildebeest Scores!

/ Tracy Abell / 14 Comments

               

Aside from babysitting neighbor kids in our tiny rural Wisconsin community,
my first paying job was at the nearby canning factory.
I was a Visual Inspector.

Sounds fancy, doesn’t it?

From 6pm – 2am,

I stood alongside a moving conveyor belt
that was covered with peas.
Wielding a long suction hose to remove undesirables:
pebbles,
clumps of weeds,
little green pea-sized berries that were "poisonous."

 
Sometimes I sucked up bits of frog.
 
I also worked the corn pack which was slightly less monotonous
because I was the break person who relieved other workers.
Sometimes I worked at the roller belts carrying the ears of corn
where I grabbed the ones with rotted ends and inserted them into a grinder 
before throwing the newly spruced-up ear back onto the belt.
And sometimes I used a big paddle to shove ears of corn onto the
sorting belts.
 
Before you get all envious, please know that corn splatter isn’t great for the complexion.
 
I just got home from dropping Wildebeest off at his new job.
His very first job.
He’s an actor at Casa Bonita.
Saturday was his first day of training 
in which he learned to fire the guns 
and sword fight.
He has lines to memorize.
He gets to chase a gorilla with a big net.
Someday he might be a cliff diver.
 
The kid’s happy.
And his skin looks great.
 
                   

George Carlin – The American Dream

/ Tracy Abell / 16 Comments
               

I had a crazy day yesterday in which I unloaded lumber in a driving rain storm,
was temporarily trapped in the mountains because of a flooded-out road,
and then while driving home received a call from the neighbors saying our dogs had escaped and were roaming free.
After the final hour and a half drive in a constant downpour, we got home at about 11:30 last night.

That was the end of the day’s bad news, right?
Wrong.

Obama wants cuts to Medicare and Social Security.

I’ve been paying attention and knew that’s what he wanted, but hoped cooler/kinder heads would prevail.
 
Here’s George Carlin from 2005, explaining in his uniquely profane way (warning!) why this is happening:
 

If I don’t laugh, I’ll cry.

 
Have a good weekend, everyone.
Don’t forget to laugh.
 
               

Visualize, and It Will Come (Clean)

/ Tracy Abell / 7 Comments

              

Way back in 2007 I posted photos of my newly cleaned refrigerator.
I swear I’ve cleaned it several times since then, but am way overdue for another decontamination.

Oddly enough, I can’t summon the energy to get started. 


So for now, I’m basking in the memory of what once was.

Who knows?
If I think long and hard enough, my acute mental faculties just might loosen the grime and debris within.
 
I bet that cute Mentalist guy could do it.
               

Defining Friendship

/ Tracy Abell / 18 Comments

               

AGNES by Tony Cochran

Sometimes we need to establish boundaries so that our friendships may continue.
That said, I’m confident my friends here in LJ-Land who are all exceedingly supportive (tolerant?)
of my bird mania would varnish my nose if I asked nicely.

Isn’t that right, friends?

Hellooooo?  Anyone out there?
 
                

The Bird-Bar Connection

/ Tracy Abell / 10 Comments

               

What does this remind you of?


                                                                                                                        © Tracy Abell 2011
 
Being in one of those bars where you drop the peanut shells on the floor, right?
All this finch needs is a bottle of beer and some twangy, heartbreak song on the jukebox.