I wonder if Agnes will deliver meals to my home?
I wonder if Agnes will deliver meals to my home?
1) This is the last weekend before school starts
2) so Wildebeest and Zebu are cramming as much as they can
into these final days of freedom
3) while I try to adjust to the fact I now have a high school senior and sophomore
4) and the fact that I'm no spring chicken and pretty soon will be an even older chicken
left alone in the roost with Zippy
5) which actually doesn't frighten me the way it seems to freak out some people I know
6) because I've always had my own thing going on independent of my kids but, still,
a senior and a sophomore? Really? Me?
photo by Zippy
(As an aside, may I mention how frustrating it is to post on LiveJournal these days? Wonky spacing, etc.)
I actually have no idea what my word count is right now
because I'm writing in chapter chunks and don't really care
about total word count.
All I know is I'm back in the 1000-words-per-day saddle
and it's the best thing happening for me these days.
I'm a little past the halfway point in this first draft
and I'm going to push on through to the end.
I hope to finish before our fall conference in a month
because then I'll show up there feeling like a champ.
You heard it here first, folks: Tracy is going to feel like a champ.
image from morguefile.com
(For those pondering the significance of this image:
I went to morguefile.com and put "champ" into the search engine,
hoping I'd get the image of a boxer such as Muhammad Ali.
Nope. Only boxer dogs)
My heart hurts.
I’m not even sure where to begin with this story
that involves an eccentric old juniper tree and a neighbor.
Short story: neighbor didn’t like eccentric juniper tree
that grew behind my fence in a Dr. Seuss-like fashion,
and over the years advocated for cutting it down because
the not-conventionally-attractive tree interfered with her view.
I defended the tree on the grounds it partially blocked my
view of the enormous new house down the hill but also
stated that I liked the tree because it had character.
Neighbor continued to advocate for removal and last year
I begrudgingly said she could cut off the very top five feet or
so of the droopy, swamp creature-esque tree. Neighbor
did nothing until one night this past week when we had another
conversation about the tree. I repeated that I liked the tree because it had
character and because it blocked the house below, but that she could top it off.
I’m sure you’ve guessed what happened.
On Saturday afternoon, while I was home and completely unaware,
my neighbor came into my yard, went behind the fence and butchered the tree
so that it now just reaches above the fence.
As soon as I walk onto my patio and face downhill, I see the scarred remains jutting over
the fence. Behind it I see the enormous house down below. Then I close my eyes
and see the off-center, funky old juniper that used to provide habitat for birds and squirrels.
I’m crying as I write this.
I feel as if I let down that tree, that I should not have made any assumptions
about how it would be treated by my neighbor.
I wish I could rewind the tape and handle the whole situation differently.
Yesterday while I was writing a letter to my neighbor about the hurt and anger I felt,
Zippy discovered a card from her in our front door.
Neighbor’s card said a tree was being planted in a National Forest in my honor
and also that she’d plant another tree behind the fence if I wished.
She apologized and said she’d never do that again.
My anger is mostly gone but I cannot shake the sadness.
I’m not sure how to move forward.
It feels disrespectful to leave the tree as is but I don’t know if I can cut it down.
Yesterday morning when I stood next to it, crying, a bird flew from the lower branches.
This whole situation has affected my health and I can’t see how it’s ever going to get easier.
Whenever I face that direction I’ll either see where the tree used to be or its mangled remains.
Neither feels like a good choice.
If you read only one op-ed piece in the next week, read
What Happened to Obama? by Drew Westen
Here’s a taste:
When Barack Obama rose to the lectern on Inauguration Day, the nation was in tatters. Americans were scared and angry. The economy was spinning in reverse. Three-quarters of a million people lost their jobs that month. Many had lost their homes, and with them the only nest eggs they had. Even the usually impervious upper middle class had seen a decade of stagnant or declining investment, with the stock market dropping in value with no end in sight. Hope was as scarce as credit.
In that context, Americans needed their president to tell them a story that made sense of what they had just been through, what caused it, and how it was going to end. They needed to hear that he understood what they were feeling, that he would track down those responsible for their pain and suffering, and that he would restore order and safety.
Yeah, we all know what story he chose to tell that day and in the two-and-a-half years since.
I appreciate David Sirota’s insights and want to share this column:
OBAMA ISN’T WEAK (HE JUST ISN’T A LIBERAL)
Maybe I’ll make copies
and hand them out to the many, many people
still convinced Obama’s heart is in the right place
and that it’s the nasty Republicans
who are preventing him from doing the the right thing.
Last week we went to Westcliffe where my mother has a small cabin.
A few people sleep outside on the deck but most everyone sleeps in tents.
Zippy and I’ve pitched our tent in the same place for years,
a slightly sloped, rocky spot beneath some pine trees.
I don’t get very good sleep while there and after a few nights of that, I’m exhausted.
So, this year we (um, I) decided we should have tent platforms.
Just wanted to say I’ll be scarce around these parts for the remainder of the week
as I’ll be in the wilds without internet access or cell phone service.
Send up a flare if you need to get in touch.
In the meanwhile, Agnes is facing her fear of the high dive . . .
AGNES by Tony Cochran
I can only hope I’ll have Agnes’s grace and presence of mind
AGNES by Tony Cochran
Okay, I’m hard-pressed to come up with a more original phobia than these,
but I will admit to being seriously creeped out whenever I think back to the video
I saw of a male frog giving birth through the skin on his back.
Not even a spork could make that more scary for me.
How about you?
Got PHOBIAS?
1) For several years I’ve had to walk out of rooms and back into them
in order to remember why I walked in there in the first place.
(A bothersome turn of events but not too scary, memory-wise.)
2) More and more frequently, I feel as if I’m turn turning into my mother
"Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It’s hot in the summer and cold in the winter.
It’s round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you’ve got a hundred years here.
There’s only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you’ve got to be kind."
— Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. (God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater)
image from morguefiles.com
AGNES by Tony Cochran
So is your spirit soaring through the sky right now?
Or are you wiping powdered sugar from your face?
1) The sun is shining and the sky is blue, blue, blue
2) the trails are too wet and messy for running which makes me sad, sad, sad
so I ran back and forth on the gravel portion just to get my bunny, meadowlark, wildflower fix
3) before heading back onto the neighborhood streets where I ran, ran, ran
I’m not one to embrace what’s hot-hot-hot,
but do admit to loving Adele’s music.
And if I’m to believe what I’ve read in various places
I’m the typical fan.
Which is to say, I’m female.
Probably older than the average female fan but, still. Female.
Conventional wisdom says Adele’s fan-base is nearly 100% women.
This afternoon I chauffeured three fifteen-year-old boys
who were playing various rap songs from their iPods on the car stereo.
Someone left the phone book out in the rain . . .
image from morguefiles.com
Yo.
Enough with the rain, already!
Aside from babysitting neighbor kids in our tiny rural Wisconsin community,
my first paying job was at the nearby canning factory.
I was a Visual Inspector.
Sounds fancy, doesn’t it?
From 6pm – 2am,
I had a crazy day yesterday in which I unloaded lumber in a driving rain storm,
was temporarily trapped in the mountains because of a flooded-out road,
and then while driving home received a call from the neighbors saying our dogs had escaped and were roaming free.
After the final hour and a half drive in a constant downpour, we got home at about 11:30 last night.
That was the end of the day’s bad news, right?
Wrong.
Obama wants cuts to Medicare and Social Security.
If I don’t laugh, I’ll cry.
Oddly enough, I can’t summon the energy to get started.
So for now, I’m basking in the memory of what once was.
AGNES by Tony Cochran
Sometimes we need to establish boundaries so that our friendships may continue.
That said, I’m confident my friends here in LJ-Land who are all exceedingly supportive (tolerant?)
of my bird mania would varnish my nose if I asked nicely.
Here’s what’s growing on around here (get it? “growing on”?)
I crack me up.
This is the largest profusion of clematis blooms ever seen on this patio,
due to the sad demise of the neighbors’ crab apple tree which hung over this corner of the patio until the tree was mortally injured in an ice storm.
This clematis plant is also blooming more than usual due to Coco not barking through the fence at the neighbors’ dogs quite as much this year.
Less barking = less trampling.
Good dog, Coco!
Good thing I don’t want to look like this guy:
image from morguefiles.com
Because I just finished hammer curling 12 pounds with each arm,
and according to my not-always-stellar math calculations,
this dude’s curling 65 pounds. Each. Arm.
Whoa.