Monday, Monday

             

Just got back from my PT appointment
at which I received strict instructions to not run for a week.
It’s now official: I will not be running the BolderBoulder on Memorial Day.


                                                                                                                     © 2010 Zippy

(Lebowski wasn’t planning on running this year so I have no idea why he looks so grumpy).
                      

Switching Gears

               

Last night I reached that point of delirium with my revisions.
You’re probably familiar with that point.
When your tweaking is possibly doing more damage than good?

So I said, "¡Bastante!"
and sent the ms off to Claudia (and another reader friend).
Then I cracked open a beer.

But today’s a whole new day, and without those revisions to shape my day I feel, well, shapeless.
What shall I do?!

I know!  I’ll dig out the file for BIRD BRAIN and reacquaint myself with that story.

(image from http://www.morguefile.com)

That creaking sound you hear?
Just my brain switching gears.
     

Of Ants and Writers

            

I’m working on my final chapter, and feel good about most all of it
except for the last few lines.

I know I’ll get there but it’s a bit maddening to have come this far
only to be flummoxed.

I’m not quite sure why, but this photo from last summer feels right for this post:


                                                                                                                                                             © 2010 Tracy Abell

Maybe because I found out via this link, that younger ants usually take care of the queen and brood,
while the older ants typically have the more dangerous tasks of foraging and defense.

I’m definitely an older ant,
and writing towards The End can sometimes feel a bit dangerous.  Scary.
But I have to keep crawling around my final page, foraging for those just-right words to end my story.

(And for a little off-topic Ha-ha, here’s a snippet from the above link:  "Ant colonies are grossly divided into queens, males, and workers. The job of the queen is to lay eggs. The males generally do nothing for the colony. They wander around accepting food from the workers until the time comes for mating. They die almost immediately after mating."  Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t this the ultimate fantasy?)
          

My left leg is longer than my right. Hooray!

              

Ever since the summer of 2008 I’ve suffered off-and-on tightness and pain
in my left ITband/hip/buttock.
It came on after training for the Bolder Boulder, and after research,
I decided it was due to training so many miles in the streets
where I’d run facing traffic which meant my left side was always leaning into the gutter.

At Zippy’s suggestion, last week I finally called my running shoe store
to ask for a Physical Therapist recommendation.
Well, I just got home from my appointment with
Stuart Wilson at Chamption Sports Medicine and Physical Therapy,
and guess what I found out?

It’s not an ITband issue.
My pain wasn’t triggered by running in the gutter.

My left leg is longer than my right leg,
and the way my body compensates is for my left foot to pronate 8 mm.
Healthy pronation is 2-3 mm.
Again, mine is 8 mm.
No wonder I was in pain!

He taped my left arch to hold it in place and then had me get back on the treadmill.
But then I felt pain in my knees.
So then he removed the tape and put a lift in my right shoe.
Much better!

My homework is to wear the lift all the time,
walk as much as I’d like,
on Thursday go for 2-3 mile run, and, if it feels okay,
to run 2-3 miles on Sunday.
I go back for my follow-up appointment next Monday.

I’m thrilled.
I already feel different/better, and am hoping, hoping, hoping
this means I’ll be back on the trails again.
I might even try to run the Bolder Boulder which is (eek!) three weeks from today.

Hooray!  My left leg is longer than my right!
              

On this Mother’s Day

            

     
The following was written in 1870, yet here we are in 2010,
still raising our voices against violence and war.
Here we are in 2010, with a president who publicly jokes about the use of predator drones.
Here we are in 2010, knowing in our hearts there is a better way.

Arise then…women of this day!
Arise, all women who have hearts!
Whether your baptism be of water or of tears!
Say firmly:
"We will not have questions answered by irrelevant agencies,
Our husbands will not come to us, reeking with carnage,
For caresses and applause.
Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn
All that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy and patience.
We, the women of one country,
Will be too tender of those of another country
To allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs."

From the bosom of a devastated Earth a voice goes up with
Our own. It says: "Disarm! Disarm!
The sword of murder is not the balance of justice."
Blood does not wipe out dishonor,
Nor violence indicate possession.
As men have often forsaken the plough and the anvil
At the summons of war,
Let women now leave all that may be left of home
For a great and earnest day of counsel.
Let them meet first, as women, to bewail and commemorate the dead.
Let them solemnly take counsel with each other as to the means
Whereby the great human family can live in peace…
Each bearing after his own time the sacred impress, not of Caesar,
But of God –
In the name of womanhood and humanity, I earnestly ask
That a general congress of women without limit of nationality,
May be appointed and held at someplace deemed most convenient
And the earliest period consistent with its objects,
To promote the alliance of the different nationalities,
The amicable settlement of international questions,
The great and general interests of peace.
                

Tiptoeing closer to The End

           

I just printed out the latest draft of my final chapter.
It’s not quite where I want it to be, but it’s definitely getting closer.

Wow.
I’m not yet giddy with excitement, but I’m fast approaching goofy.
Or maybe that should be daffy.
Punchy?
Loony?  Nutty?  Dotty?

Guess the only thing I know for sure is that whatever this is I’m experiencing, it ends with a y.
             

Bird Is the Word

             

I’m fighting feelings of overwhelm right now,
mostly political and environmental concerns.

I need to harness good feelings to carry me through.
And there’s nothing like a bird to make me feel better,
so I’m going to share in case anyone else needs a little boost.


Female Downy Woodpecker                                                     © 2010 Tracy Abell

Wishing everyone a groovy weekend filled with lovely birds
and whatever else makes your heart go thumpa.
                       

Inspiration for today’s work

           

As I get ready to write today,
hoping to choose the perfect words for my final chapter,
I hold Jeannine’s work up as inspiration.

From BORROWED NAMES by Jeannine Atkins:

As if staying in one place
is the sole measure of goodness,
as if ponds are better than running rivers or rain.

Jeannine sets the bar pretty damned high, doesn’t she?
            

           

Fun at the dentist office! Really!

          

Who says it’s no fun going to the dentist?
I just spent an hour there and had a grand time.

Did I mention I was only in the waiting room?
Zebu had an appointment to get his braces-clad teeth cleaned,
so I hung out in the front office.

Did my figure eights,
inserted my ear plugs,
and drafted another couple pages of my final chapter.

Let’s hear it for the dentist office!
           

PREVAIL in your pants

Yesterday while helping at the spaghetti dinner,
I saw a family with young kids and offered them diapers.
I went to the basement and dug through the donated personal hygiene items
(diapers, tampons, napkins, adult underwear, etc.) to find the correct size.

In my search, I happened upon a package that looked like this:

WTF?

My personal motto is also a brand of adult underwear?

My hand-made, special-order, one-of-a-kind bracelet that I haven’t removed
since artist Laura Hamor mailed it to me in September 2009
might conjure images of incontinence?

I stared at the package, stunned, and gave myself a few seconds to mourn.
Then I started thinking about the situation in broader terms.

Lots of those product  names would make great mottos for inspirational or philosophical bracelets:

          DEPENDS (for those trying to remember to make nuanced decisions).

          ALWAYS (for those professing undying love).

          WHISPER (for those struggling to find their “inside voice”).

So, I’ve decided I’m going to keep wearing my bracelet
but I’ve also resolved to be more diligent about doing Kegels.

Mentor Monday: The Final Scenes

            

I’m in the home stretch on my revisions.
When I last met with Claudia, we decided my final chapter would be
a kaleidoscope of three small scenes.
So that’s what I’m working on this week.

I want my scenes to convey this kind of intricacy and balance:


(image from http://www.morguefile.com)

But if I don’t immediately get the scenes just right,
I can treat them like a kaleidoscope and make a slight adjustment,
and maybe that new view will be just what I’m looking for.
              

Zebu and The Onion

         

              
This is what made Zebu laugh hysterically today.
He kept reading bits aloud from this "news item" out of The Onion:  Ad Nauseaum
and since life is scary right now with, well, all that stuff on the news,
I thought I’d share a portion:

McDonald’s Drops ‘Hammurderer’ Character From Advertising

March 6, 2002 | ISSUE 38•08

 
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The discontinued character.

Developed by Chicago advertising agency DDB Needham, the Hammurderer made his debut two months ago and has since appeared in a series of Saturday-morning television commercials, as well as on Happy Meal bags and activity placemats. All appearances by and references to the violent, ill-tempered prison escapee will be dropped.

"Over the years, McDonald’s has successfully introduced a number of new characters whose defining characteristic is a certain measure of comical, criminal intent," said Andrew Perlich, McDonald’s vice-president of promotions. "Such shady characters as The Hamburglar, The Goblins, and the bloodthirsty pirate Captain Crook have all fit nicely into the McDonald’s advertising universe. We had every reason to believe that the Hammurderer, with his long rap sheet of burger-related crimes and his signature cry of ‘Stabble Stabble Stabble,’ would take his place in this proud lineage of McDonaldland mischief-makers."

The Hammurderer’s Jan. 11 debut ad—in which he seizes and devours the McDonald’s Happy Meal Guys, oblivious to their frantic screams—earned poor marks from parents and child-development experts, who feared the spot might send the message to children that killing is acceptable. Several weeks later, more controversy erupted over the promotional coloring book "Shivved In The McRibs," in which the Hammurderer decapitates Mayor McCheese and eats his head. Responding to widespread public outrage, McDonald’s executives defended the coloring book as "not nearly as violent or socially irresponsible as it has been made out to be, given that the Mayor’s head is, in fact, a giant and conceivably edible cheeseburger."

……………………………..

There, don’t you feel all better now?
                    

Mash-Up of Scary and Funny

              

Yesterday I worked on a scene that was hard to face:
I put a 12-year-old girl in a dangerous and scary situation.
When I reached the point at which someone steps in to help her,
I stopped writing and took a nap.

I often take 15 minute power naps.
But this nap was a deep, all-the-way-asleep kind of nap.
I think writing that scene took it out of me.

So that’s the scary (and tiring) portion of this post.

The funny portion?

Earlier this week, Melodye ( ) asked that we share belly laughs with each other.
Since I can’t find Garrison Keillor’s hysterical booger excerpt from LAKE WOBEGONE DAYS
and Youtube doesn’t have the Stuart Smalley Halloween clip,
I offer this mockumentary about the first men’s synchronized swimming team:

Are you laughing yet?
              

Merry Planksters – Update

              

Two weeks ago I posted about how I wanted to strengthen my core.
I’ve been doing planks most every day since then and I want to tell you,
PLANKS ARE AWESOME!

I’ve done them off and on (mostly off) over the past couple years
but am here to say, a little consistency goes a long way.
I can already feel a difference in my strength (I mostly don’t shake and quiver anymore).

So I’m here to encourage you to do you and your core a favor, and start doing planks each day.
You’ll tighten your midsection, tone your abs, improve your posture, reduce risk of injury
(planks can even slice, dice, and make julienne fries!)

Seriously, invest five minutes a day and become a Merry Plankster!
            

Imagine If the Tea Party Was Black

             

 

I encourage you to take a few moments to read this thought-provoking essay.

IMAGINE IF THE TEA PARTY WAS BLACK By Tim Wise
Let’s play a game, shall we? The name of the game is called “Imagine.” The way it’s played is simple: we’ll envision recent happenings in the news, but then change them up a bit. Instead of envisioning white people as the main actors in the scenes we’ll conjure – the ones who are driving the action – we’ll envision black folks or other people of color instead. The object of the game is to imagine the public reaction to the events or incidents, if the main actors were of color, rather than white. Whoever gains the most insight into the workings of race in America, at the end of the game, wins.

So let’s begin.

Imagine that hundreds of black protesters were to descend upon Washington DC and Northern Virginia, just a few miles from the Capitol and White House, armed with AK-47s, assorted handguns, and ammunition. And imagine that some of these protesters —the black protesters — spoke of the need for political revolution, and possibly even armed conflict in the event that laws they didn’t like were enforced by the government? Would these protester — these black protesters with guns — be seen as brave defenders of the Second Amendment, or would they be viewed by most whites as a danger to the republic? What if they were Arab-Americans? Because, after all, that’s what happened recently when white gun enthusiasts descended upon the nation’s capital, arms in hand, and verbally announced their readiness to make war on the country’s political leaders if the need arose.

Imagine that white members of Congress, while walking to work, were surrounded by thousands of angry black people, one of whom proceeded to spit on one of those congressmen for not voting the way the black demonstrators desired. Would the protesters be seen as merely patriotic Americans voicing their opinions, or as an angry, potentially violent, and even insurrectionary mob? After all, this is what white Tea Party protesters did recently in Washington.

Imagine that a rap artist were to say, in reference to a white president: “He’s a piece of shit and I told him to suck on my machine gun.” Because that’s what rocker Ted Nugent said recently about President Obama.

Imagine that a prominent mainstream black political commentator had long employed an overt bigot as Executive Director of his organization, and that this bigot regularly participated in black separatist conferences, and once assaulted a white person while calling them by a racial slur. When that prominent black commentator and his sister — who also works for the organization — defended the bigot as a good guy who was misunderstood and “going through a tough time in his life” would anyone accept their excuse-making? Would that commentator still have a place on a mainstream network? Because that’s what happened in the real world, when Pat Buchanan employed as Executive Director of his group, America’s Cause, a blatant racist who did all these things, or at least their white equivalents: attending white separatist conferences and attacking a black woman while calling her the n-word.

Imagine that a black radio host were to suggest that the only way to get promoted in the administration of a white president is by “hating black people,” or that a prominent white person had only endorsed a white presidential candidate as an act of racial bonding, or blamed a white president for a fight on a school bus in which a black kid was jumped by two white kids, or said that he wouldn’t want to kill all conservatives, but rather, would like to leave just enough—“living fossils” as he called them—“so we will never forget what these people stood for.” After all, these are things that Rush Limbaugh has said, about Barack Obama’s administration, Colin Powell’s endorsement of Barack Obama, a fight on a school bus in Belleville, Illinois in which two black kids beat up a white kid, and about liberals, generally.

Imagine that a black pastor, formerly a member of the U.S. military, were to declare, as part of his opposition to a white president’s policies, that he was ready to “suit up, get my gun, go to Washington, and do what they trained me to do.” This is, after all, what Pastor Stan Craig said recently at a Tea Party rally in Greenville, South Carolina.

Imagine a black radio talk show host gleefully predicting a revolution by people of color if the government continues to be dominated by the rich white men who have been “destroying” the country, or if said radio personality were to call Christians or Jews non-humans, or say that when it came to conservatives, the best solution would be to “hang ‘em high.” And what would happen to any congressional representative who praised that commentator for “speaking common sense” and likened his hate talk to “American values?” After all, those are among the things said by radio host and best-selling author Michael Savage, predicting white revolution in the face of multiculturalism, or said by Savage about Muslims and liberals, respectively. And it was Congressman Culbertson, from Texas, who praised Savage in that way, despite his hateful rhetoric.

Imagine a black political commentator suggesting that the only thing the guy who flew his plane into the Austin, Texas IRS building did wrong was not blowing up Fox News instead. This is, after all, what Anne Coulter said about Tim McVeigh, when she noted that his only mistake was not blowing up the New York Times.

Imagine that a popular black liberal website posted comments about the daughter of a white president, calling her “typical redneck trash,” or a “whore” whose mother entertains her by “making monkey sounds.” After all that’s comparable to what conservatives posted about Malia Obama on freerepublic.com last year, when they referred to her as “ghetto trash.”

Imagine that black protesters at a large political rally were walking around with signs calling for the lynching of their congressional enemies. Because that’s what white conservatives did last year, in reference to Democratic party leaders in Congress.

In other words, imagine that even one-third of the anger and vitriol currently being hurled at President Obama, by folks who are almost exclusively white, were being aimed, instead, at a white president, by people of color. How many whites viewing the anger, the hatred, the contempt for that white president would then wax eloquent about free speech, and the glories of democracy? And how many would be calling for further crackdowns on thuggish behavior, and investigations into the radical agendas of those same people of color?

To ask any of these questions is to answer them. Protest is only seen as fundamentally American when those who have long had the luxury of seeing themselves as prototypically American engage in it. When the dangerous and dark “other” does so, however, it isn’t viewed as normal or natural, let alone patriotic. Which is why Rush Limbaugh could say, this past week, that the Tea Parties are the first time since the Civil War that ordinary, common Americans stood up for their rights: a statement that erases the normalcy and “American-ness” of blacks in the civil rights struggle, not to mention women in the fight for suffrage and equality, working people in the fight for better working conditions, and LGBT folks as they struggle to be treated as full and equal human beings.

And this, my friends, is what white privilege is all about. The ability to threaten others, to engage in violent and incendiary rhetoric without consequence, to be viewed as patriotic and normal no matter what you do, and never to be feared and despised as people of color would be, if they tried to get away with half the shit we do, on a daily basis.
                            

First they came . . .

                    


Yesterday Arizona’s governor signed into law legislation
making it a crime to be an undocumented immigrant.

It is the first state in the country to do so.
Word has it the xenophobes’ next target is Colorado.


(Mike Keefe 4.24.10)

"SB 1070, also known as the “Support Our Law Enforcement and Safe Neighborhood Act,”
would allow police officers to arrest a person based on “reasonable suspicion ” that he or she
is an undocumented immigrant. Police departments could face lawsuits by individuals who believe
they are not enforcing the law." 

Isn’t that great?  The fear-based, angry white mob that would be better served directing its rage
at Wall Street, NAFTA, CAFTA, etc. can now sue the police for not arresting enough people of color.

As Martin Niemöller said in 1946:
"THEY CAME FIRST for the Communists,
and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Communist.

THEN THEY CAME for the Jews,
and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Jew.

THEN THEY CAME for the trade unionists,
and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a trade unionist.

THEN THEY CAME for me
and by that time no one was left to speak up."

Niemöller knows from whence he speaks; he spent time in Dachau.
                         

Building Tension and the Big O

              

I met with Claudia yesterday to go over revisions.
The take-home quote of the day?

You’ve done an excellent job building tension in the story; it builds and builds and builds. 
Like an orgasm.

That’s right, ladies and gentlemen, I create orgasm-worthy middle-grade fiction. 
But I don’t think I’ll mention that as a selling point when it comes time to schedule school visits.

             

Revisions R Us

             

In case anyone wonders where I am today,
I’m hunkered down in the revision cave.

Thank you for the kind words of support yesterday.
I made progress and feel good about it even though I feel a bit like this. . .


                                                                                           © 2010 Tracy Abell

(I don’t, however, have the catfish-like facial hair and anyone who says different is lying).
                    

Focus, Tracy!

               

I meet with Claudia on Thursday to go over revisions.
You may remember my glee at the progress I was making.
At that point in time, I was confident I’d fly through the rest of the revisions.
I told Claudia we were going to celebrate Earth Day together by reviewing all remaining chapters.
As in, every single chapter through The End!

Well, soon after shooting off my mouth I slammed right into a Wall of Doubt.

There is no way I’ll have the revisions finished by the day after tomorrow.
There’s only thing left to do:  Get as much done as possible and hope Claudia isn’t overly disappointed.


                

Birds on the brain

               

Two American Kestrels sitting on a wire above my yard.
How lucky am I?


                                                                                                © 2010 Tracy Abell

The male is on the left and the female on the right.
Care to read their body language and write a little script?
                                   

Friday Five: The Paint Dilemma

           

In a little while, a friend is coming over to help me paint.
We’re going to paint bits of walls and cabinets in an
attempt to choose the right colors to de-Frankenstein my kitchen.
You see, my cabinets are now a shade of green which is tolerable in natural light
but under artificial light, is like a bad acid trip.

We have a slew of samples to choose for walls (I have one "accent" wall which is an affront to humanity)
but also these five shades of gray-black (and yes, I realize they look green and brown) for the cabinets.
Black cabinets? 
Yes, black cabinets.
An interior designer floated the idea and we’re going to give it a whirl.

Five whirls, to be precise.

Have a great weekend and may you all love your kitchens just as they are!